Emotionally Twisted

my mind is twisted,

full of twists and turns that I can't even unscramble,

happy for some things,

and raging for others,

there is no in gray areas,

some say bipolar,

where others say i am exceeding my human limitations,

i fight for those i love,

and even those who love but with no return,

i try and believe in unconditional love,

but every time its another stab,

another let down,

i believe in being happy,

or the ability and or opportunity of such luxurities,

but that is only with some,

to few i'm allowed to be excited,

to others i cant,

again, no room for gray areas,

i don't know if I've ever felt my heart this confused?

i don't know the last time my wondered to mercilessly?

i just wish every little detail could halt for just a moment...

Author's Note

please ignore grammar, this is just one of many much needed venting journels

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

well done says i! honest, emotive and flows as a natural conversation with self and the best of friends ... thank you for sharing this Sarah ... entering ones mind can actually be a quite dangerous things in my opinion ... we can too easily experience the confusion ... the extremes ... the very dark fear ... i read that fear is the first enemy the inner seeker will have to bring under control ;)
I love this line:"where others say i am exceeding my human limitations," ..its a position i lean towards ... so called mental and emotional "illnesses" are something we all taste in one intensity or another .. not to belittle the struggle and complications of those extremes .. some bio-chemical and some social that add to the difficulty in sorting things out .. i know you want grammer ignored and i'm assuming syntax as well .. but i wish you might help me with this one itty bitty line: "i don't know the last time my wondered to mercilessly?" i try but just can not make sense of it .... the read of your poem has a natural flow to it and one can tell it comes straight from the heart .. thank you for sharing this page from your journal ... you inspire me
E.

[Sarah]

Thank you E for your incredible review! yes entering a mind can be a very scary place. and to help you out with that little line, it was meant to be "so mercilessly" being my mind has been wondering to the hurt places and the dark. both the best of times and the worst of times but travels at such a rate that just breaks my heart. going through a lot. it touches my heart that my writing can be an inspiration. i am sure that there will be plenty more that comes out.
Sarah

[Einstein Noodle]

ah...got it...and that would be I (not "my" and wandered not "wondered" ..is that right? ;) and as for more to come ... as the infamous Shrek has said "Better out than in" :))))))))))) writing is so healing isn't it?!

[Chris Shaw]

You've described well here what it is like to be you. Emotions can play havoc or be gentle. I can't imagine how awful it would be to have the former to deal with most of the time. Anything for a bit of peace.

Chrus

[Sarah]

thanks, its been too long since i wrote to vent. it sucks lately they have just sought to destroy me but never will i allow it!

[Chris Shaw]

Maybe a good vent will help. Hope you get a break soon.

Chris

[Sarah]

thanks hun i need it...
sarah