Secret Admirer

Secret Admirer

A Poem by Tumi
"

love

"

“Secret Admirer”

 

Shall I call you, using the sweetest names

My tongue will find solace,

Singing your praises

 

In your dark skin, beams of light arise

Your form my heart will always adore

In awe and pure delight

 

Like lightning bolts

 Your beauty strikes me to the heart

Like the fiery blaze of an eagle in flight

 

While my heart trembles in fear

Like a troubled storm

 

With much love in my heart.

Words can’t convey how beautiful you are

© 2024 Tumi


Author's Note

Tumi
feel free

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Reviews

It was impeccable, great mix of words tho

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


Tumi

3 Weeks Ago

I have refined it more better
But yet to paste it
What a beautiful poem., I also find myself in situations like this with someone I know.
"Like lightning bolts
Your beauty strikes me to the heart
Like the fiery blaze of an eagle in flight" Exactly as is, how I feel. Perfection really! It burns in the back of my mind, like I know from somewhere before here.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderfully written poem
-Amy ❤

Posted 1 Month Ago


Tumi

1 Month Ago

Thanks for your warm review, I'm happy my poem reasons with you.
Amy R

1 Month Ago

You're welcome. 🌸
the poet wants to shower their loved one with the sweetest, most affectionate names, seems like the person brings light into the poets life, making even the darkest moments shine , the speaker is experiencing something divine or beyond her understanding when we read "pure delight" You add elements of physical and emotional impact the poet has as an admirer while also eflect the fear of being vulnerable that comes with loving someone intensely. I felt as a reverential love depicted here.. Nice one dear @Tumi

Posted 1 Month Ago


I think you meant Singing you praises. Not singing "your" praises because i think it would mean her praises. Maybe you could make it more poetic

Like:
In your dark skin, beams of light arise
A form my heart would always adore

Suggestion

My heart filled with love
No word can convey your beauty

or something

Posted 1 Month Ago


Tumi

1 Month Ago

thanks for the feedback, i thin the YOU and YOUR both work well, but will consider it
Sounds like mental illness.

Which is what love actually is. A type of functional mental illness.

Posted 1 Month Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Davidgeo

1 Month Ago

At no point did I say "good is doing bad". What the hell are you talking about?
Snow_

1 Month Ago

You think love is bad. What I meant to say it is not. Let us stop arguing pllss. I will just ignore .. read more
Davidgeo

1 Month Ago

Not all mental illness is dysfunctional. When people confuse lust, idealization and obsession with .. read more
A passionate write finely penned...

Posted 1 Month Ago


This poem tells of how passion for another enraptures the heart blinding the eyes to all else and leaving a painting of wonder and beauty

Posted 1 Month Ago


Truly there beauty hold a power over us, my kryptonite those green eyes....good stuff my dude.

Posted 1 Month Ago



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8 Reviews
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Added on October 30, 2024
Last Updated on October 30, 2024

Author

Tumi
Tumi

lagos, christian, Nigeria



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i am just a random person trying to do best at writing more..

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