Chapter 25

“Leda, talk to me. Please?”

Nate followed her down the hallway after Chorus, resolutely weaving through the onslaught of students and bulky backpacks traveling in the other direction.

Aleda hadn’t spoken a word to him since the previous afternoon in the library. Not in homeroom. Not even when he had come over to her desk in English class before the bell rang. By that point it had become less of a matter of not wanting to talk to him than a matter of having absolutely no idea what she would say. She would have to speak to him eventually, she knew, but at the moment she was putting it off as long as possible.

She was upset.

But she wasn’t exactly sure why.

Yes, okay, so the things he had said the day before were kind of awful, but she knew he didn’t mean to be such a jerk. She had probably just taken him by surprise, and considering that, his reaction was understandable. Talia had flipped out a bit, too, when she told her. Even though the other girl hadn’t attacked her like Nate had.

She had just startled him.

That’s all.

She felt a little silly for overreacting so badly to their argument. It was just a stupid argument. She would talk to Nate and he would apologize and they would make up and it would all be nothing. He would probably tell her that he had been so surprised he hadn’t known what else to say, and he definitely hadn’t meant to call her an idiot.

Had he?

He was going out with her, he was telling everybody who asked that she was his girlfriend, so he wouldn’t think of her as an idiot. Who would want to date somebody that they thought was an idiot?

Certainly not Nate.

…Right?

She shook her head, trying to clear it. There were too many thoughts competing for attention and she knew from experience that if she let herself obsess too much she would just end up shutting down. There was only one thing she needed to figure out at that precise moment, and that was what to say to Nate. Everything else could be pushed aside until later, after they had gotten past this little bump.

She had reached the front lobby.

So she stopped.

Even though she still had no idea what to do.

Some things just had to be done.

Nate caught up to her, and Aleda was secretly pleased that he had been so persistent. It felt nice to be that wanted, and it went a little ways to alleviate the tension she felt.

“Hi,” he said when he reached her, and stood awkwardly a few inches away.

“…Hi.”

“Look, Leda, I’m really sorry about yesterday. I don’t know what I was thinking. Please don’t be mad?” he begged her. The same face that would usually be quirked in some sort of grin was now a remorseful mask of regret.

“…You called me an idiot.”

She just thought she would put that out there.

You know. For reference.

Nate winced, recalling his words from the previous day.

“I know. I didn’t mean it. I wasn’t calling you— that is, I shouldn’t have…” Nate trailed off. “I’m sorry?”

Aleda chewed on the inside of her cheek. This was sort of going like she had imagined.

“You don’t really think I’m an idiot, do you?” she asked apprehensively.

“What? No! Of course not!” Nate exclaimed. “I’m going out with you, aren’t I? So I can’t think you’re an idiot.” He grinned tentatively. “That’s just not allowed.”

…Uncanny, but cute.

There was the Nate she knew.

Aleda finally let herself smile a little bit back at him.

“So are we okay?” he asked.

She nodded. Nate’s grin spread all the way across his face and he pulled her in for a kiss. Aleda even let him, despite her token protests at the public display. She was just glad to not be arguing anymore.

This had been the biggest fight they’d had yet. And it wasn’t even hardly a ‘fight’, just a short stretch of tension easily relieved by a few words. Even so, it had made Aleda awfully uneasy.

Unfortunately, Nate had to be at his practice just a few minutes later. Aleda was left in the lobby with just a few more kisses to keep her company.

She considered returning home. She had never stayed for very long after school except during the musical, but the musical was over now. A week ago she would have returned home right away so she could finish whatever homework she felt like doing, before heading out to keep watch over the feeder nest with Ryan.

Now, the demons were dead.

Dead-er.

Gone, anyway.

If she went home now, she would just end up feeling useless for the rest of the night. She wasn’t even sure she would be able to get to sleep before midnight.

She had no idea what to do with herself.

She had a vague idea that Val stayed after school sometimes. Where would she be? Art room, probably—Val had shown her some of the ink drawings she’d done. Goodness knew she wasn’t the type to join any clubs or honors societies.

Well, it was either that or go home and sit around, bored. She wasn’t quite sure she was ready to start doing all of her homework just yet.

Art room it was.

Worth a shot, anyway.

The art wing was fairly close to the lobby, just down the hall a bit and hang a left. The music rooms and auditorium were all in the same area as well, and Aleda had spent more hours in that part of the school building than she could possibly count. Sometimes, especially when she had been stuck in rehearsals, it felt like she spent more time in the music and art wing than she did in the rest of her classes combined. Now that the musical was over, it felt sort of strange to be going back there, and she had to fight the feeling that she was supposed to be somewhere.

It was also odd to see the hallways so empty.

Whenever she had come here before, the hallways had always been crowded with other students, either going to class or wandering around when they weren’t needed on stage. After the musical ended, Aleda had started going home immediately after school.

The emptiness was unsettling, and Aleda couldn’t even figure out why.

She found Val in the first art room, sitting at one of the tables with her pens, brushes, and paper spread out in front of her. A small stereo sat off to the side blasting music, the volume not quite high enough to catch the attention of whatever administrators might still be around. Somebody had attempted to straighten up the rest of the room at the end of the day, but this room was never really clean. Assorted brushes and colored pencils still sat in swept-aside piles at the edges of the counters. There was a rather low chance that the janitors actually spent any time in these particular rooms. Very low, if the amount of chalk dust and paint drips on the floor were any indication.

“Heya, Chica,” Val said when she saw her. “What’s up?”

Aleda shrugged. “I’m bored.”

“What do you usually do after school? I never see you around this late.”

“…Er… Homework. I usually go home and do my homework.”

Val grinned in amusement. “Don’t feel like doing it anymore? Don’t blame you. I barely touch the stuff, myself.”

“That’s exactly it. So, um, what are you doing?” Aleda asked, changing the subject as quickly and awkwardly as possible. Val picked up the paper she had been working on and held it out to her.

“It’s a bit of a landscape, not done yet. What do you think?”

The drawing was only about half-complete, but what was on the paper was very well done. None of it was terribly detailed, but Val was able to capture the feel of the scenery with just a few strokes. It also looked like she’d been looking at an awful lot of japanese prints.

“Looks awesome, Val. What style is that?” she asked. She handed the paper back to the other girl, who resumed her landscape.

“Sumi-e. I’ve been in a Japanese phase lately,” she said with a shrug. “Also, I want to make sure I get some variety into my portfolio, and a few Japanese-style pieces couldn’t hurt.”

“Portfolio… Art portfolio?”

“Yeah, Chica, what other kind is there? …Don’t answer that… But yeah, art portfolio. Art schools tend to like ‘em.”

Aleda pulled down one of the chairs that had been stacked on the long table and sat down next to Val. “So you want to go to art school?”

“Eh. Yeah. I guess. I mean, where else would I go? Art is about the only thing I can stand.”

“You are pretty good in Pre-Calc,” Aleda pointed out. Val snorted.

“Yeah, well, being pretty good at something and liking it well enough to not want to scour every trace of it off the face of the planet are two completely different things. I’d stab myself through the eye with this brush if I had to do math for the rest of my life,” Val said, gesturing carefully with the ink-laden brush she held over the paper.

Aleda nodded in agreement, a grimace on her face at the thought of never again being free of her dreaded precalculus.

“You’re lucky,” she said. She propped her head on one hand and looked glumly at Val’s artwork. “To know what you want to do. I don’t have the slightest idea for myself.” She watched the other girl paint for a few seconds, envious at how easily she was bringing the scene out of the page. “What do you think I should do?”

Val snorted again. Aleda considered finding her a tissue. “How should I know?”

“Do you at least have some ideas?” Aleda tried again, her face falling.

“Don’t get me wrong, Chica,” Val said, her gaze still focused on her artwork. “I think you’re crazy cool. But I’ve only known you a few months. I don’t have the slightest idea what you’d be good at. And anyways, it’s still something you need to figure out for yourself.”

She made a calculated stroke across her paper.

“To be honest,” she said, “I have no idea if I’ll do this the rest of my life. I might. I might change my mind completely in college, or even when I’m forty. I’m just going to do what makes me happy. Right now, art makes me happy, so I’m doing art. What about you? What makes you happy?”

Aleda had no answer for her.

What did make her happy? Not history, or science, and certainly not math. Literature—as far as reading books was concerned—was fun, but she couldn’t see herself as an English major or writer. Same with music and art. They were fun enough when she was just doing them for fun, but she’d never be able to stand either as a career.

Stage crew had been enjoyable. Although, come to think of it, she’d liked sitting and watching the rehearsal more than scurrying across the stage to move props. Oddly enough, the trips out to the woods to sit and watch the nest had been … nice, in a way. Even despite that cranky jerk that kept her company.

…If only there were a career in watching from the shadows. She’d be set.