Pink Sweaters and Pooka Shells

he is still the same but the girl beside him isn't you

There are some things I wish I didn't know
Like how he looks at her
Or what happens behind closed doors.
I wish I hadn't seen his eyes light up, looking at her, with nostalgia for their love still happening
While I daydream of the afternoons I spent in his arms
Or the nights pretending he never left them
There are some things I hope I can forget
Like how his smell lingers on her clothes
Or how his sweatshirt no longer smells like cologne
Folded in the corner of my closet
Wrapped in memories, wrapped around my waist, wrapping my sleeved arms around myself
I wish I never heard the sound of his voice
When he whispered to her the sweet nothings my ears strained to hear.
For her. For me.
I only wish.
'I love you'
No. Don't gasp. Don't bear surprise.
Not for me. Not this time.
There are some days I wish would pass.
Like the year left in silence.
Averting eyes. Stifling smiles. Becoming strangers.
Now that he's back I remember why.
My heart would race and my stomach churn.
There are people I wish he would had never known
Some days it's her as his affections grow.
Other days it's me.
As I fall deeper into the memories

Of flannel shirts and summer nights.