Gauze Wrapped Heart

we can't seem to save ourselves from hurting

'Care for yourself'
We really aren't good at that are we.
So worried about protecting others from hurt that we destroy ourselves.
Throwing ourselves onto the ground to give someone else the solid foundation on which to walk
Don't you wish that you knew how to stand for yourself with the mighty sword.
With the pen striking parchment releasing piercing words.
yet still we allow ourselves to be destroyed, because others and lovers will always come first, or at least before us, at the end of the line.
Checking on others and sacrificing our time, for they are more worthy of care and content than the one you hate most, whom with all of your time is spent.
We drown ourselves in liquor and smoke our lungs black, all in the hopes that he'll notice how he broke our heart
We take out the shards, and with them scar our skins. Falling too deep into a life filled with sin.
And while he had started, you did not stop. Tearing apart your soul as the pain seeps within. Your heart sopping wet with the redness of pain.
It drips from your wrists as you torture your brain. Still reading into all of his mind games.
But now you're in charge and still breaking yourself. He's gone from your life yet it's still living hell.
You find him in everyone using them to cope. As you force a connection with your last shred of hope.
Fragile and forced you drain the last drops of your love into the arms of those who make you numb. Selling yourself to sabotage your soul.
You give up your worth for the pleasure of others. Once again sinking to the bottom as you place them on a pedestal.
Crying yourself to sleep, wrapped in the arms of a stranger, praying morning will come.
So you can wash his smell out of your hair, and clean his kiss from your tongue, wiping away the mascara smearing down your face. Tears gluing the ink to your skin.
Knuckles pale clutching the sink you whisper that you are fine. Composing yourself for the kiss goodbye.
Do no harm. That includes self inflicted.
Drawing blood every day to keep another heart beating, yours grows weak. Withered and empty. You ache for someone to fill you.
The sabotage comes from letting him fill the hole in your thighs instead of the hole in your chest.
There's a difference between being fucked and making love.
Learn to close your legs to his advance

And open your heart to give yourself and love a chance.