Cough Syrup

life is a battle

The vodka burns as my eyes run dry

Pumping blood, I curse my heart, why must it constantly beat on

The beating of my heart leaves bruises like those from your fists and your harsh words

The shards of my heart are the perfect weapon, sharp as the broken bottles littering the floor

The bottle caps are hand grenades that ship me back to war

Sipping down cough syrup and choking down my sins

Hoping it will make me forget the battles ive been in

Battles against myself and somehow I still could not win

Its my brain versus my heart and I still lose every time

There is no chance to surrender in this battle to the end

Fatalities have taken everyone away save for my demons

There are real wars fought off in Saigon but im trapped in my head

Fighting war that’s one on one, just me and myself

Thousands killed in those battles at least here the fatality is just one

Me.

No 21 gun salute, no farewell to arms, when the fighting is your fault they don’t miss you when you’re gone

Some wars bring you a long way gone but im still stuck where I always have been

No movement forward, at least I haven’t fallen back, but that may be better than always stuck right here

In a meager room in a small house in tiny town where everyone knows everyone and your laundry is always out to air

Somehow in a town of gossip still no one seems to care

Not care let alone notice im drowning in this sea, begging for a savior yet none have come to me

I don’t have nothing, that wouldn’t be fair to say, but I don’t have much and that’s become okay

Less, it turns out, is better, more will bury you alive