8

   I was in my boxers when she stormed into my room. I hadn't done anything other than shower and brush my teeth for the last three weeks. My hair was disheveled and long, not to mention the beard I had grown. I looked like a helpless child stuck inside a man's body.

   "Get up." She demanded.

   "Katie?" I asked as I willed my eyes open. That was the first time word that I had spoken in three weeks. My voice was raspy.

   "Yes. Now get up." She repeated.

   "But Katie -" I started.

   "Tyler. Up." She said firmly. I used all of my willpower to get out of that bed. I was so weak. It felt like I was six feet deep in that bed. I had barely been eating. She walked over to the edge of the bed where I was standing. She got right in my face. She held my steady by my shoulders.

   "Tyler, look at me." She said. She took a deep breathe. There was passion in her eyes. "Your father took enough from your mother, but he gave her one thing. He gave her you. The one good thing that she was able to take, love, and cherish. Do not dare take that from her." She said.

   "Katie, how did you -" I began.

   "It's a small town, word travels." She said.

   "My world is broken. So am I." I whispered to her, tears in my eyes. She hugged me.

   "I'm not giving up on you, Tyler." She said. Then she kissed me.

   "What if I've given up on me?" I asked her.

   "That doesn't mean that I have to." She told me. She wrapped her arms around me again. It was unconditional, her love. It just seeped out of her. That's just the way she was. I'm convinced I never would have crawled out of that bed if she hadn't come to save me.

   "I just feel... I feel like I'm so unintentional. Like the only reason I exist is because of this unspeakable evil that I'll never be able to escape." I said. She buried her head in my chest, with her arms still around me. She looked up:

   "Tyler, you don't have to be strong alone. I'm gonna walk with you through this. I'm gonna walk with you through this because I love you." She told me. There was a single tear rolling down her cheek. "You don't have to be strong all by yourself." She whispered again. I held her tightly against me. I wondered, what was this love that someone could see such good things in someone who was born out of such horrible things? I'll never forget that moment, no matter how old I grow. Some moments just become part of who you are.

   "You're so amazing." I said. "How will I ever be good enough for you? My life, even before I could make decisions, has just hurt people." I said.

   "I'm not scared of you." She said simply.

   "But what if you should be?" I asked.

   "No one will ever be mad at you for giving them the chance that they asked for." She said. So I kissed her.

   "It's a risk." I said.

   "Love is a risk. That's what makes it beautiful." She said softly.

   "I've never been in this much pain, Katie." I confessed.

   "I know." She replied.

   "You know that feeling when you're running? And you get that pain in your chest? And you can't breathe? That's what it feels like. Except it doesn't end. There's no finish line. The only finish line is when you die and this world fades away. But until then, you're left with the pain and that sick inability to catch your breathe." I told her.

   She looked at me, with shimmering eyes:

   "I want to be the only thing in this world that makes it difficult for you to catch your breathe." She said quietly.

   There is no way to really explain the pain that I was feeling. It was insurmountable. It was deep and piercing. It felt like a deadweight on my chest. I can't really describe to you the pain. I still feel it. I still feel it so sharply. I started crying. I started bawling like a baby. She held me in her arms while I just cried. I began to let it all out. All the pain and the choking suffering. It all just poured out of me. I cried for hours in her arms. That's true love. That's true love when someone holds you like that. Katie was my best friend. She was the most amazing person I ever knew. No one ever made me feel the way she did.

   When I finally got it together, she looked deep into my eyes. She kissed me. Never in my life had I been or would I be kissed so passionately. It was fully love, no lust. I didn't even know that it was possible to have a kiss like that. She slip into my lap. With her hand on my chest, she continued to kiss me. Things spiraled onward. There was no stopping it. In the car, when there was a component of lust, small as it was, we could stop. Now, when there was nothing but this fiery and costuming love, we couldn't. We made love. I wouldn't say we had sex. Sex is lustful, it's anatomical. Sex is about pleasure. We simply expressed love in the most passionate way that we possibly could.

   When it was all over, she cried. So did I. I had never felt so strongly about anything or anyone.

   "I truly love you." I whispered.

   She kissed me.

   I helped her get dressed, then I put on some clothes.

   "Will you come over for dinner tonight?" She asked me. I was hesitant. I was scared, terrified even. But I agreed. She hugged me.

   "I'm going home, you need to clean up." She said. "Come over in two hours?"

   "I wouldn't miss it for the world." I promised.

   I cleaned up. I shaved. I showered. This was one of those times that it was probably good that I couldn't take a super long shower.

   I got to her house around the time she told me to be there. I knew better than to keep her waiting. Her dad answered the door:

   "I haven't seen you in a while." He said.

   "It's been a rough few weeks." I confessed. He put his hand on my shoulder, and he looked at me like he cared about me. Like I was important to him.

   "I know it has, son." He said.

   About that time, Katie appeared.

   "Dinner is ready." She said with a soft smile. We followed her into the kitchen.

   The dinner went smoothly. We made small talk. We talked about football and the weather. We talked about the church services that I had missed and how good my grandfather's preaching had been. The dinner was good, but it was simple. I enjoyed it. I ate a lot, considering the fact that I really hadn't eaten much in the last three weeks. The whole time all that I could think about was Katie. All I could think about was how much I loved her. I loved every part of her. She was amazing in every single possible way. I loved her smile, I loved her laugh. I loved the way she hit me in the arm when she was annoyed with me. I loved the way that she looked at me after I kissed her. She was just amazing. In the middle of my train of thought, or rather, in the middle of my extensive admiration, Mr. Jones spoke:

   "Katie, I think it's time that you let Tyler and I talk." He said calmly. She nodded, got up, and left. I was so confused. I was nervous. Had she told her dad about what we had done? I didn't know what had just happened, or what to do. I didn't understand.

   "Tyler, I need to tell you something now that you know about things. It's been weighing on my heart. You're a grown man, you deserve to know." He continued.

   "Okay." I said, exhaling. I swallowed hard. I was still confused. The last thing that I needed was more world-shaking news. I couldn't handle much more of that.

   "I knew your mother." He began. "I knew your father. I knew Ely, I knew Jennifer. This is a horribly painful story, Tyler. For both of us." I had no idea what he was getting at. "I met your father two years prior to everything. We became friends real quickly. He was my best friend. I thought I knew him. I really did. But, obviously, I didn't. He was so good at hiding who he really was. Your mother was the only one who ever really saw through it. I think that's what made him go crazy." Mr. Jones began to tear up. "I'm sorry that I couldn't stop him, Tyler. I'm so sorry." He choked out. I looked up at him. I looked into his eyes. Beneath the mist, there was fire in his eyes. "But you're not the only one that he took someone from." He added. "Ely was the love of my life, Tyler. She was everything to me. I looked at her the way you looked at Katie. I had gotten her pregnant ten months earlier. Katie was a month old. I was off playing minor league baseball for the Reds. I was good, Tyler. I was good enough to play at seventeen. I gave it up the day that I got the news. I lost my best friend. I lost the love of my life. I lost both in the same week. I never looked back. I only focused on Katie. I put everything I had into Katie. I entered the academy at eighteen. This is where we've been ever since."

   "Does she know?" I asked. It was the only thing I could think to ask. Yet again, I felt pierced at my core. Not only had all of this destroyed my life, it had also destroyed much of Katie's. She never knew her mother because of my father. I hurt the girl I loved more than anything before I even was born.

   "No." He said.

   "She'll hate me. She should." I said.

   "Do you truly love her?" He asked me.

   "Yes." I said.

   "Will you take care of her?" He asked me.

   "Yes." I said.

   "Then she never needs to know." He said, crying.

   This was the strongest thing I had ever seen. This man, whom had lost the one he loved most deeply because of my father, was willing to trust me with the most precious thing in his life: Katie. This was the strongest act of love, forgiveness, compassion, and sacrifice that I have ever seen. I never knew a man like he.