An Elephant's Isolation

This is what I wrote in class when asked to write about a time that I knew I had grown up. It's pretty much my reaction to being surrounded by people who make decisions I don't agree with.

I sit in my barn,

My friends laugh around me

Reminiscing on their crazy experiences,

Talking about all the things they'd done.

"Leah, do you smoke pot?"

"No."

"Have you ever been drunk?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to..."

I look down and feel left behind.

My friends continue to talk and act like

I'm not the elephant in the room.

But I can feel it,

Their silent judging,

My own judging too.

I feel like there's no way back,

No return to my innocence.

I've tried that before,

But that only left me isolated

With nobody to lean on.

So I have to rush into a foolish "adulthood",

Pretend that I fit in,

When everybody silently knows that I don't.