Why it had to die?

My body won't stop trembling
Until these words break free
From the place where they are lodged
Within my throat
But I can't let them escape
Because I really would hate
To end this on a bad note

I know it's faded, it's been eroding
Breaking now for months
And it's withered away so much
To such an extent
That I no longer believe it
I can't even see it
It's just a past event

A past event that shaped my life
A past even that composed my heart
A past event that's tearing me down, wearing me down
Ripping me apart

Ripping me apart because I don't want to hurt you
Even though it hurts me to stay
Our bodies so tense, nothing makes sense
It's already been thrown away

But I can't admit to what I've lost
Because it seems unreal
Just a part of my mind gone dark
Like a nightmare or a mistake
That I'll soon erase
Though the damage already left its mark

I'm sorry that I can't change
But it wouldn't be right to lie
I can't manufacture love any longer
I don't understand why
This love had to die
But maybe without me, you'll be stronger