Brainwashed

I think I need to look around

And stop telling myself that it will all be Ok

Because I only have so much control

Over the delusions 

Of those I love

Yes I love them

Even if they may not love me

Yes, I'm thankful for them

Because they've given me a roof over my head

They always made sure I was fed (even if I chose otherwise)

And they tried their best

To break me of my self-destruction

So I really can't blame them now

For making the memories I want to erase

For saying the words I want to erase

For the cuts that I want to erase

For the trophies that have shattered against my wall

That I want so badly to glue together

Because I want so badly

To glue us all back together

But that ship has sailed

So it's time to stop kidding myself

It's not all going to be Ok

It's going to be hell for awhile

Trying to break free

From the wrong I've been taught

Was right all my life

But I have to do it

Because if I succumb to them

If I remain trapped within

I'll never be free

So it's time too look around and see

Just the pure insanity

That I may or may not have caused

This shamble of a home to be