Never forgive myself

I'm never going to be able to forgive myself

The worst thing that I could possibly do

To the best things I could possibly have

Ripping everything from his heart

Ripping every piece of belief from his soul

All I was ever given was happiness

But no, that wasn't enough

All I was ever give was love

But no, that wasn't enough

All he ever did for me was genuine

But no, that wasn't enough

Because it was to the point

Where nothing was genuine from me

Where I had to test the waters

Thinking I'm so smug, 

Walking on water

But I don't have those super powers

Because I had to sink and come clean

End the beginning of the best life I could ever have

And then miss what I had

Once it was gone

But silly me, 

I just couldn't settle for contentment

I had to settle for the impulsivity

The greediness

The suggestions

All to melt the euphoria

The miracle I though I'd never have,

Up in flames

My life is burning

My soul is burning

I'm burning

Because after this, 

I deserve to go to hell

Reviews

[Jb]

use

[Lalli]

Its amazing how i came across this today. Especially when I just got out of a relationship that no matter what I did. She needed to have chaos. This poem is very self-reflective... feelings of guilt, shame.. disappointment, and regret.

but remember. All things happen as they are meant to be. You obviously within yourself were not ready for such a relationship. Meaning, for you. It should be an eye opener to take the time to reflect within yourself, who you are, why you are, how you are.. and what you want, how you want it.. and why you want it.

great therapeutic write.. although, i encourage the change of the ending. Not to condemn, but to take something away from it. remember to smile!

much love n' respect

-Lalli

[Sourav]

It's an emotional write. There's a easy flow in the poem. Nice reading.

[M.E.Lyle]

Insightful, and self degrading. It's most difficult to forgive ones self. Somehow we never feel deserving of it. Guilt, I think, is one of those little side affects. It drives us to do funny things like eat a gallon of homemade ice cream at one sitting, or run 10 miles after starving ourselves to death for a week, cutting patterns into our skin for who knows what reason. I don't understand it, and neither do most people. How you survive it, I suppose, is up to you. It's harsh reality I'm afraid. Here's to you, hoping you survive.

[Kaa Na Kalyanasundaram]

forgiving ourselves will have the temparament of doing sin.
good. it will not be possible for a human being to do good things always without any error. OK...........your poem is great ! it should be a teaching for everybody.

[Gregory]

very well done, love