I love you

I love you

A Poem by Jb

Steady now, like needle and thread

Ready now, I've straighened my head

I know that I love you

When you look into my eyes

Seeing whats true

Forgetting all the damn lies

I don't care what's coming

Don't care what's in the past

Because I just want the present

To forever last

Stronger now, with your arms holding me

This is the only place that I need to be

And I'm through with swimming

In waters too deep

Because you're the only one

That I need to keep

© 2012 Jb


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Reviews

Pros:
- Rhymes.
- imagery was nice, good use of similes and metaphors.
- Over-all, pretty well-written.
Cons:
- Cliche title.
- Some grammatical errors seen. There should be commas after certain stanzas. If I were to be reading this aloud, it would be read continuously and without pause.

I really liked the feel of this poem. It actually seems like something I would write. I enjoyed it over-all.

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Jb
use

Posted 12 Years Ago


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AK
Very nice....written in simple words but yet very beautifully expresses complex human feelings. And, I think the spelling is 'needle' not 'neadle'.

Posted 12 Years Ago



Wonderful poem of love.

Baroque

Posted 12 Years Ago


Consistent stream of thoughts with clean rhymes that fit. I loved the rhyming at the beginning of some of the sentances. Very nice, as I have time I will be reading more of your work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Lovely...lovely flow to your wonderful poem...I enjoyed the simplicity yet complex emotions though out your poem.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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6 Reviews
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Added on January 3, 2012
Last Updated on January 19, 2012

Author

Jb
Jb

Youngstown, OH



About
The majority of my life has been consumed by Eating Disorders (no pun intended). I've dealt with severe Anorexia from the age of 13-19, recovered, and now struggle with Bulimia. Depression, Anxiety, a.. more..

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