last kiss

i still remember our last kiss

a saturday morning

almost 11.

i was getting ready to leave

and you were lying in bed

watching me

with that grin of yours.

as i was about to leave

you grabbed my hand

my small, cold one

engulfed by your big, warm one.

i helped you out of bed

and headed towards  the door.

i stopped in the doorway

and you came closer.

you wrapped your arms around me

and held me close.

then you kissed me.

it was quick.

sweet.

almost like a habit.

as if it was a "see you later" kiss.

too bad it wasn't a "see you later" kiss

and i would actually never see you again.

Reviews

[rowan.taylorrr]

i really enjoyed this. i love the last line. sadly, we never know when we have to say goodbye. it's always a see you later because you never know. this piece is hoenslri very sad and filled with hopelessness and shows raw emotion, i like!

[Kibbles and Quips]

I really like this. The imagery is spot on and your ending is perfectly imperfect. My only observations are technical ones, of which don't really matter, but I'll say anyway: is there a reason why you never capitalize (even in your other pieces)? stylistic choice? and, if you're a stickler like I can be during the editing process, I'd recommend placing a few more commas here and there.

[TL]

i'm glad you enjoyed it.
i'm not one to focus on the technical aspects of writing. since my pieces are short and simple, i want people to be able to just see a rough and raw piece that they can interpret or relate to in their own way.

[N.]

Wonderful details to built up to the kiss. To bad it ended with such sorrow. Nice job.