Lungs and Light

This came to me while I was trying to go to sleep last night. One of my first attempts at free verse.

She gasps.

Eyelids closed

Blocking the light that

Shines from her mind,

Through her eyes,

Beaming beacons of beauty,

Of bliss.

Elevated, unreal bliss.

Sirens scream

Calling to weak-minded sailors

From the roofs of the

Vehicles of the

Law enforcers.

Blue, red, blue and red,

Shines from her blinds

Through her eyes

Brings her back.

She opens them,

Those beautiful, beaming beacons.

She sees the lights,

The colored lights,

Most unlike the pure

Blissful light that

Shines from her mind.

Or shone from her mind,

Just for a moment.

The colored lights knock

And bliss is gone.

She sighs.

Author's Note

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this one. I have some idea what it's about... any comments on the story are graciously welcomed.

Also, any suggestions for a title? I don't like the one I have now, but I can't think of anything else. I've never been one for original titles.

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

This is great. I would call it "Awakening" as it makes me think of the moment of awakening from sleep. I love how subtly you present the contrast of the beauty and peace inside her mind, and the vulgarity and intrusion of the mundane outside world. You don't labor the point, but rather, you let your presentation do the work, and that's very well done. Lovely bracketing between "she gasps" and "she sighs". This poem has almost erotic overtones. Your poetry is consistently of a very high standard. Excellent.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Interesting. Great first attempt into free verse/free writing. Languishing ecstatic expression interrupted by the police. Is she a hooker? Just leads your mind to think. Even workin' girls need lovin' too sometimes. :) Good job.