Flat World

This is a very abstract poem. If it was on a math test, the correct answer would be "Does not include enough information to solve." For most readers, it's just for fun.

*Part One*

 

Imagine the world, so round and so large,

With oceans that harbor the whale and the barge,

That licks upon land, miles wide, I am told,

With mountains and valleys and gardens that hold

All the beauty we talk about, think about, see

In the words of the poets and HD TV.

 

Imagine, now, that the whole world is flat,

(But only so it can be turned upside down

Which will happen later; no question on that)

But nothing has changed: still there’s ocean and ground

And the birds overhead and the demons below

And the trees, and the forests, and gardens, and snow,

And the sand and the sound and all that jazz, you know?

 

Now turn it upside down (as I mentioned before).

 

All the water would fall and ascend into space

Bringing with it its whales, a sad look on their face

As they fall with their friends, like the barges and birds

Into that outer-space.  And imagine the words

Which escape from the vulgarous mouths of the people

Who watch from the branches and tips of the steeple

As all of the birds and the flowers and water

Go falling away with their suns and their daughter.

 

And all of the people in all of the caves

Would die when the flat-world got turned upside down

Because of stalactites, which become stalagmites,

And everyone falls onto one, is impaled,

And bleeds to death promptly while screaming in pain

And listening as all his friends do the same.

 

 

I’m in my house when the world flips around.

Floor becomes ceiling, and that becomes ground.

Cellar is attic, and garret’s below,

Everything breaks from the fall, so I know

I’m the only one safe in the world because I

Chose not to spend time with my family, outside,

In playing a game of socfootbasekickbasket-

Softgolfbouncytennishandrugbyballraquet.

And out of the window, still centered on wall,

I watch all my family as they, shrieking, fall.

A wave and a kiss and they tell me goodbye.

I pretend not to see them, but don’t ask me why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Part Two*

 

I’m alone, all alone

Sitting on what used to be

The ceiling, but now

I’m sitting on it, and

The ground is now the ceiling, but it used to be

The ground.

 

The computer’s right beside me, smashed from the fall

From what used to be

The ground but is now the ceiling to what used to be the ceiling but is now

The ground.

And all around me is debris

From similar descents

As that which the poor computer endured

(Or rather did not endure).

 

And of course, with nothing to do

But look at my poor, dead computer

And the upside-down horizon outside the window

(And it is somewhat entertaining to watch the trees"

The weak trees, whose roots aren’t strong enough"

Rip from the earth above and fall into the sky below)

And with nothing else to do,

I think of her.

 

Text her, I think, and see if she’s all right…

If she survived the flip-dee-doo of the world.

But of course, I realize, that would do nothing

Since the satellites are now below me

And my phone would send its signals upwards,

Expecting to reach the satellites,

But they would only absorb into the ground.

 

So I throw my phone out the window, instead, and watch it fall into the sky.

Author's Note

This poem is a lot of fun to read aloud. Try it. ;)

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

Very interesting to read, as I'm sure it was to write. A fun playful romp followed by a twisted macabre smack of what would happen should this become reality. It was a fun read, aloud and not so much and the play of words and imagery was well done.

[Zoe Jay]

Wow. This is a very sophisticated poem and an excellent read. I love the concept, it's very original and creative and I'm very impressed. The poem is also well executed and well structured. Overall, it's an excellent metaphorical poem and works well on different levels. I also like the way you have written the poem in a matter-of-fact, detached way, which heightens the drama, as in verse 4, but also gives the reader space to consider the implications that this would have in their own life. Fabulous last line which summarizes the story really strongly and neatly. There are a couple of lines in the first part which are a little clunky / out of rhythm, but I'm really being hypercritical there. Absolutely A1 poem.

[aloha.]

i can see how this is like my poem.
this has the best rhyme and my imagination is going crazy trying to picture this all in my head. i got excited reading. (:

my favorite line: "Because of stalactites, which become stalagmite"
i can't tell you why, it just is.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

You are magnificently crazy for this one. Love all the flip flop craziness of this one. Reminds me of my latest poem where I disorient senses. A poem that makes me giddy and leaves me in awe all at once. Fantastic. Bravo!

Favorite lines: "socfootbasekickbasketsoftgolfboundytennishanddrugbyballraquet"
I had to pause and allow myself to laugh at that for a moment before finishing :)

[C.]

Truman--I have come to review your poem. And here it goes: *ahem*
"In the worlds of the poets and HD TV" was a perfect line to juxtapose + blend the old and the new, especially because the beginnings of the poem have a very sing-song-y and old-school nursery rhyme feel... but of course you wouldn't read about HD TV's in one, which is why it has impact.
"no question on that" might read better than "do not question that" in s2, just a suggestion.
"the things that you know" might read better than "all that jazz, you know?" in s2 as well... again just a suggestion.
"Now turn it upside down" read clunkily for me, but my brain might have lost the beat on its own, so take that with a grain of salt.
Liked the injunction in s4, l4... but is it for a purpose or just a distraction?
"their suns and their daughter" was a very magnetic line--I enjoyed it.
The unexpected violence in s5 was sensational in that it immediately demands that the reader begin to take the poem seriously. So kudos on that.
"and that becomes ground" I liked. A good way to keep the beat and communicate the idea without making it obvious you're trying to do both.
I adored the line "chose not to spend time with my family" in s6. Way to turn a commonly-perceived negative into a positive (but it still has a delightful twinge of sadness to it).
The hermaphroditic sport in s6 is refreshingly original and a nice touch.
P2 contrasts wonderfully with P1, and the reader is definitely aware of the sense of despondency created by the shorter line length.
The last line was genial, and I grinned at it as I read it.
Overall comments:
A very nice poem. You clearly have skill with rhyme and syllabic rhythm. The concept is fairly original, too... which is always refreshing. I especially admired the theme of a desire for loneliness realized in an otherworldly scenario which causes one to reconsider the desire for loneliness. Simply put, I thought your poem was elegant. ...And a fascinating read, Truman. Nice job.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

I did I did~ read it out loud! ~ pausing only to smile and giggle like a little girl with her first taste of the imagination of fables and magik carpet rides ~ which is what this poem is~ sheer delight magik ride for the mind~ !!!