Please and thank you

Mommy always said, say please and thank you if you do a good deed.
So thank you for sitting there and watching me bleed
Please don’t wake up mom
And please don’t shout
Thank you for not stopping the blood from pouring out
Please say a prayer for me
For i’m a little busy
My face is going pale
Thank you for not calling the cops
Cause I would go to jail
Thank you little brother
This is a lesson you needed to learn
Don’t worry; Hun soon will be your turn. 
 

Author's Note

Please only leave me a review if you have a lot to say. I don�t care the little reviews that say you like it. I want deep, interesting reviews that make me feel like I should keep writing. But if all your going to say is "I liked it" please...don�t bother....thank you.

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

Well, I do like your poem. It has a lot of power behind it. I think its about suicide, that the person really wanted to die, and that is the fate of the little brother watching the older person dying and being thanked for not saving him. Chilling yes, emotional yes, well written and it has a impact. And it does create a very dramatic and visual picture of tragedy. One can hope witnessing this suicide doesn't really leave the little brother to the same fate, one can hope he will somehow recover from what he saw and move on to a little better place. One can hope. Yes, I do like your poem. A lot. And the above is what I got out of reading it.

[Hanan_Maliah]

you have an intensity about your writes...not just from darkness as much of them I have read seemed dark...but an actual gift with words and how to pull a person into your thought...feel the moment and almost smell death as it comes...Death is almost always seen as dark and yet it is only the way it may come that is dark...we must, as a being, accept it has a fact but to what end we find it is how you have captured the mind in this poem...Suicide...many do not understand why and have a difficult time with it...sometimes because of personal belief and others just because they couldn't fathom the pain that surely is associated with its driven attempt and success...it along with murder is the hardest type of death to deal with for loved ones left with picking up the pieces...

I find I do enjoy your writings and your talent is something to be appreciated in many degrees...so even should one not like your perspective material they most certainly would respect the talent and craft...

[Dreamer (Kristen)]

I think that the girl wanted her little brother too watch her die, too make him stronger. she wanted him too be ready for anything that could happen after. she's making him stronger for that wich is too come. from the last sentence you can tell that something is going to happen, or at least, she thinks something will happen, so
she tries too make it easier for him

b.t.w.: I liked it

[deleted]

It was dark and somewhat infernal. However, I thought that it was very much consistent. I was anxious to read it to the last line. It showed the writers or the characters take on her life and life itself. She felt the need to define the meaning of destiny to her brother. Very interesting read/well written.