Once again it changed

Once again it changed

A moving target, ever morphing

Signaled by a emotional lump in the stomach

Is this once again

And early warning of things to come

Prepare, floodgates open at midnight

Don't know what I feel

Don't know what to think

Just know something changed

And we're on the brink

Do I think or do I feel

That in a blink, the change is real

Is my subconscious controlling me

Protecting me, from a world of pain

Just stowing them away where I cannot see

Instead of doing them done, or are those the same

The pit in my stomach what does it mean

Give me a sign, please, something to gleam

A thought, a dream, an emotion

I'm not worthy it seems, I'm sick of this theme

Not knowing, alone, in this ocean

Thousand circular thought cycles sundered

None survived reality's touch

What hope there was to clarify; friendship or more

Was in reality one hope too much

Yet now feelings maybe clarified

With more certainty, externally verified

Possibility space reduced

Probability now centered on friendship

Optimistic outlook induced

The want for more took a dip

Allowed to explore open and honest

Unbelievable

Boundaries upheld with nothing but care

Unbelievably beautiful

And despite the situation met with curiosity 

Unbelievably and forever grateful

Will this time settle in and make a home in me

Or will the pit be back in the blink of an eye

We'll see