The Black Shack

The little black shack

Sitting in the cornfield

Among the barrenness on the side of the road

Hides itself from the world

But is visible to me

it sits there in the light

In broad, open daylight

As black as the midnight sky

The purpose of this shack is unclear

For nothing sits inside of it

For it's just an empty shack

Or an eyesore on the side of the road

It's quite odd as to why someone would build it there

On the side of the road

Within the confines of a cornfield

And not store a thing inside of it

It's just like problems in our life

Taking up space in the side of our mind

Hiding from the rest of the world

And appearing as an eyesore to us

So do as you may with your "black shack"

Take whatever steps are needed

For mine is no longer a black shack

But now a pile of black ashes

Scattered around, and out of my mind.

Reviews

[Sher A. Lynn]

I love the metaphor of "black shack". The little black box inside us all, usually causing us to crash and burn .Hmm, The Black Shack might have just inspired me to write something entitled Black Box. Hmmmm, thanks Ricky x

[Saddam]

Great write. I love that.
Imaginary is very strong.

[ANTO]

A carbuncle of the conscience - get rid of it !
Well written Ricky. This is like a mental exercise in dealing with things that just wont go away.
Good one Ricky
:))

[Nini]

Ricky, I LOVE this. Such insight! Very, very good!

[Mai L Nissen]

I love the theme. I like how you slowly reveal your intend when describing and questioning the purpose of the shack. Overall nice flow and imagery.

If I should criticise anything it would be a subjective thing. This sentence is quite long: "It's quite odd as to why someone would build it there"
Otherwise an enjoyable read :) Thank you for sharing!

[Double T]

Wow, this is a great visual poem. I first didn't understand it at the beginning. But as I started to read it to some more I started to get the bigger picture: the problems we have I our live can take up some space in our minds and take away our good thoughts.
This is a great poem no doubt about it. But it just needs to be more visual and meaning. But overall nice job.

Writing 4/5
Imagrey 4.2/5
Theme 5/5

[wordman]

a great write,things build up in our minds and clutter it up
taking away good thoughts

[Confuser]

So many problems tucked or hidden away somewhere: Nice writing...with they pile up they can overshadow of life, As black as the midnight sky. Love the theme. Encouraging: get rid of them. Keep writing. I thank you..Dale

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Nicely done. Burn away the problems, and throw out the ashes. Sometimes its not that easy. But this is what we got to do.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we amass our problems like something's we never will throw away---save them for some reason...and really they are just emptiness in a black shack of the mind.