Red

In between school, work, and a hateful home life it really is a tough time to get a break.

Red red red the color of anger

Walk in my school I am surrounded by red

Grumpy teachers, impatient students, reports due left and right

Red red red....

I got a job maybe this can be an escape

Out of the red and into something more blue

But how dumb was I, too think it was that easy

Like something out of a fairy tale

Work is more red than school

“Do this, do that! Why are you late! Point, point point!”

Coworkers mad that I do my job, bosses mad that I don't do it well enough

Temperatures to where my skin is blue, but everything else... Red

Sick of this all, I go home hoping for a break

And I do, one week red and one week blue

The blue is great, and well needed 

But I go to the red, its all just red

EVen my bed is red there is no where to run

“You want to be a lawyer? You’re not good enough”

“You want to do theatre? Are you gay?”

Well i'll tell you what I have everything to prove and nothing to lose

Ill be a top of my throne, you can shine my shoes

If im not good enough, I cant wait to prove you wrong

Just don't expect anything from me once I'm up top

Looking down on you all

Author's Note

What did I do well, and what needs improvement?

Reviews

[Kaitlin]

Hey Ricky, loved this poem. I'm going to illistrate the last 3 verses so I can hang them up somewhere! I totally empathize with what you're saying in this poem. I go to a private school where our teachers expect so much of us that it gives me a headache. Sometimes all you want to do is slam a door in their faces!

The only suggestion I have is reread it for comma use. I'm no expert but I think a couple lines (like "...I got a job, maybe this...") need a pause. My english teacher read my poem before I posted it. He told me to read t outloud and put a comma or period anywhere I paused.

BTW i tried to give you a 92.738 but they wouldn't let me put decimals in.

[Ricky Campbell]

Thank you! I never really thought of that, I will get to that!

[Madhu]

This is indeed a good set of color choices, well written I must say. All are lines are so true and is felt by everybody in most of their lifetime. I did feel that these two lines felt incomplete to me -
"Ill be a top of my throne, you can shine my shoes
If im not good enough, I cant wait to prove you wrong". You could have added a few more lines to bring out more optimism and rage. But otherwise, it's brilliantly written. :)

[armin]

You've descripted your frustrations out of your pain very well.
But indeed that's how the life goes my friend.

armin. ...

[Ana B.]

I happen to like red. Red is fire, and fire is as essential as it is untamed. A beautiful and raw picture here. Great work!

[Mayank]

I read this, then I sang this like a rap song. Nice work.

[AaronFreitas]

This is a very good piece... I really like the way you bring into the poems the thoughts of your conscious and say you have everything to prove and nothing to lose. Life is about proving people wrong and constantly working on making you a better version of you. Keep working!

[Taylor]

Ricky, I'm no expert, in fact, other than high school and college, I've read little poetry bec I generally don't like it. Having said that,I do like this poem. You have done a fine job of describing the pressures a young person (and others) experience. Just a thought--what if you delete the phrase "the color of anger"? The reader already knows that. I almost felt that you started another poem with "so you want to be a lawyer?" I hope you realize your ambitions and whatever you do, I'm sure you'll be very successful. As I think about it, I'd love to see you write a separate poem with those two questions juxtaposed--do you want to be a lawyer or be in theater. And of course, the implication that being gay is not ok. That surely is a poem waiting to be written. So glad you're writing.

[Natureislelove]

:D Very niceeee
Very well put together, i can relate to this poem in so many ways :-)

Anyways that's how life is....lots of Red and a bit of Blue, just gotta have a bit of patience and hope for the best.

Keep up the writing, All the best with your work.

[Frozen Eyes]

Nice way to handle outburst, Loved it.

Perhaps u used an extra "o" at line no.7 check it out :)

Thanks for sharing :)

[wordman]

this is how the world is,and more red than ever

[Double T]

I like this poem a lot. It really opens up the theme of stress and anger, sort of like the same thing that I had once. It's really inspirational.