watching a fairy tale

  watching a fairy tale

you make my soul burn like fire ... in the deepest core of the sun....

your sweet smell is like the first bloom of the blossoms in the spring

sending heaven to my heart  making it race to fast to keep pace 

your eyes are mystifying sending me into a trance

your skin as soft as a fresh batch of cotton tickling my spine 

when you speak i have no breath to breathe

you walk away and my heart folds like cheap paper crumbling in a hot flame

you road up on your white horse and sweep me away.

now my mind is so high in space im afraid i wont recover as it fades  away

so be my prince i scream from my insides so loud the gods send lighting to strike

as tears poor down my face the clouds feel my sorrow and begin to fight sending tiny droplets

to cover my demise

you see to have a prince you must be a princess

since class can not be faked

she'll be replace and watch the wrong girl live her fairy tale

Reviews

[DJ]

Beautiful imagery used through-out this. It is well written. A few spelling mistakes in it, e.g. "breath to breath" Is that meant to be breath to breathe? "cheep paper" Is this supposed to be cheap? "sense class" Since? "replace and watch" Replaced? I really enjoyed reading this, just being picky with the wording and spelling. Enjoyable, thanks.

[Sarah Redigan]

Haha you know i didn't even re look over this one im glad you said something sometimes i type to fast and then i just spell how ever it decides come out at that moment then i fix latter guess what i didn't fix latter lol thank you for bringing it to my attention

[DJ]

No problem at all! Haha we all do that from time to time. Glad I was able to help.

[Sarah Redigan]

:0) smirk .......

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending to the tale.
"when you speak i have no breath to breathe
you walk away and my heart folds like cheap paper crumbling in a hot flame "
I liked the above lines. When the heart goes cold. It is over. Thank you Sarah for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Alucard6336]

Hey this is pretty. It's well thought our and consistent.

It seems like it would take awhile to put on paper, and that is awesome. Great job :)

[deleted]

VERY desriptive tale here!

[MentalPrincess~]

I like this very much, a beautiful story weaved wonderfully. Metaphors and imagery explodes into pretty colors as I read each stanza.

[Sarah Redigan]

Thank you MP

[MentalPrincess~]

Sure anytime :)

[A. Amos]

Love your style of writing brilliant and elegant. Thanks for sharing

[Sarah Redigan]

Thank u for reading

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is truly a wonderful poem full of so much heartfelt lines :)

[Sami Khalil]

Fairy tale romance and wonder. Bravo..............

[Sarah Redigan]

Thanks you

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)................

[Everett DeValle]

Hi Sarah, really wonderful poem...and I say that because you are delving into your soul...that's cool, maturation process comes in time when seeking your voice...I love the imagery and metaphors...excellent.

[Sarah Redigan]

thanks sweets

[Everett DeValle]

You're very welcome, Sarah.

Sweet...me...nah :)

[Sarah Redigan]

charming
..................

[Everett DeValle]

Gosh...Thank you, Sweetie. :)