Reckless Nostalgia

Reckless Nostalgia

A Poem by Elias Kovats

It still hurts to hear your name
Every polite conversation that casually brings you up
I have to pretend it doesn't bother me
That its not another tiny cut in a long line of tiny cuts
But I've gotten really good at hiding pain
I've had practice
I laugh it off, I tell people I dodged a bullet
I tell people how much better my life is without you
I don't think about you everyday anymore
Though on my off weeks when I am at my lowest
You cross my mind more often than you don't
Your laughter doesn't taunt my memory anymore
I don't have episodes of painful nostalgia 
When I listen to the music you showed me anymore
But you pop up every now and then
I hear your voice singing along
I see you in the smiles of other girls
The same smile that you gave me
The one that said "no storm is too dark"
I see your fire in someone else's eyes
The fire that gave me courage
Even when I was terrified

I won't say I want you back
Enough time has passed that I have moved on
Those scars are starting to fade but will never fully be gone
But you're still in my heart somewhere
When I finally closed that door I moved on
I locked it tight, barricaded it, and threw away the key
It holds back a flood of careless emotion
Of impulsive passion and reckless nostalgia
It won't be reopened
But you still knock from time to time
A soft, echoing knock that haunts my memory
And I'll think of what you're up to
And I sincerely hope your life is happy

© 2019 Elias Kovats


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Reviews

Amazing Letter-Form-Prose, Elias, this is a great literary style to go. thank U for the confidence sharing your work with us. sincerely, Amber

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elias Kovats

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much! I appreciate that!!!

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Added on February 6, 2019
Last Updated on February 6, 2019