Daddy

*Please read, it means a lot to me* For all those who have had this happen to them, it's not your fault. Help is out there

As these tears

Slide down my face

I bring back old memories

That I tried to erase

I remember the nights

Without my mother

She was gone and at work

And left me with my father

I know that most dads

Are loving and caring

But mine wasn’t that way

He was scary and demanding

When I was growing up

I kept that dark secret

Because my daddy always told me

“You must always keep it”

I didn’t talk much to people

Because I was afraid

That I would accidently tell someone

And be sent to my grave

But as I grew up

In school I was taught

That it wasn’t my fault

Whether he said so or not

So one day I decided

To tell my teacher

She told me the principal

Needs to hear

So up to the principal’s

Office I went

The teacher said I should

That’s the only reason why I went

I told the principal

My whole story

From when I was 3

Until now, I’m 14

She told me that she

Would make a phone call

And then after that

All my problems would be solved

When I got home

The police were there

They took my father

To someplace, somewhere

When my father had gone

I told my mom everything

I repeated the story

While she sat there crying

She said it was her fault

That she should’ve known

I told her she was wrong

The fault was his own

We cried for a while

But I knew in the end

I wouldn’t let it happen

Never again

I’ll never let somebody

Do that to me

I’ll take care of myself

And forever be free

Author's Note

Comments? Opinions?

Reviews

[Words of Thunder]

On your difficulty in stanza breaks: try to separate things into coherent thoughts, like sentences or paragraphs. Use those as your breaks.

The simple verse form you use gives such a chilling subject a child-like quality. For many subjects, it wouldn't work, but here it does. Nice.

I would recommend you explore some other poets to try to develop your own voice outside of a rhyme scheme. Scheme and form can be too limiting at times to what you want to say and how you want to say it. Try someone like Langston Hughes to start with...

[Octob3r Star]

This was amazing. I was really drawn in by this writing and believe that there is no comment or opinion that would better or worsen its perfection. You must understand that there are so many different views from one writer to the next. You'll never have consistency. Therefor, you will only have yourself.

[musicfollowsme213000]

I am a baby but I am crying...Awesome though

[La Princesa]

thats what i have some difficulty with, is breaking poems into stanzas

[Lost in Wonderland]

Thats so sad! I'm so sorry if you actually went through that, and if you didn't you portrayed it very well. Your first poem on here was good, but this peice is great. Its very deep and thats a good thing. Keep writing. One little tip though: you might consider breaking up longer peices like this into stanzas (sections) to make it easier to read.