'The Spud'

A Scottish rendition by Craig Thomson (An attempt to mimic the late, great William McGonagall.)

The Spud is seldom angry,

It's happy in its skin,

The Jersey Royal, head held high,

The Maris Piper's din.

The Ayrshire New is grand wi stew,

The Kerr's Pink, light and fluffy,

When chipped and peeled,

Wi peas and veal,

The King Edward stands up happy.

But on the streets, there's been discontent,

Amongst potato clans,

Their pride o' place is threatened,

by the sweet potato - Yam.

An immigrant from far off lands,

An inferior infiltrator,

The Yam, it seems, is trying, by stealth

Tae upstage the potato. 

It's far too sweet tae eat it neat,

and it doesnae work wi mince,

and sat beside a heap o' Neaps,

It would make a Haggis wince.

Frae Edinburgh tae Belfast,

frae Cardiff doon tae Cheam,

The Yam's a poor contender,

For the spud still reigns supreme!