The Lawnmower and the grumpy neighbour by Craig Thomson

I stole a petrol lawnmower, from my neighbour in the night,

I removed the engine carefully and installed it on my bike.

I fitted it with Sat Nav, put a lantern on the hub,

and even after fifteen pints, I can get home from the pub!

 

The engine works on two stroke, economic to the last,

and people smile and wave and cheer when I come riding past.

But just next door, across the fence, in number forty two,

McGregor opened up his shed, and the air outside turned blue.

 

'Margaret!' he called out angrily. 'The lawnmower's gone astray.

I know I put it back in here when I used it yesterday.'

'It's far too big to lose my dear,' Margaret hollered back.

'Have you looked beneath the work bench, or perhaps behind the rack?'

 

With patience frayed and spitting fire, McGregor's face turned red,

there was nothing left for him to do, but empty out the shed.

He struggled with the work bench, a table and an old tin tub,

I wish he'd seen me smiling as I motored to the pub. 

 

McGregor's always been a grumpy old b*****d!

    

 

 

Reviews

[Leigh]

What's good about this is that I can imagine the characters without you describing them, 15 pints! Good for you, I'd be in coma......altogether really funny.

[Angi]

Ha! Love stuff like this. I don't have to work too hard and I know a reward is coming at the finish. Nicely done!

[Keith]

Craig, that is a ripper! Love a bit of humour in verse. Take that 'definitely not a poet' outa your bio.

[MOON]

Hysterical write i can picture you on that bike!

[KAOlmsted]

Ha! xD I am rolling right now...this is quirky and fun and damn hysterical...ah you British...is it any wonder I love the hell out of you lot? ;-)

[carol burgess romance]

I am still laughing...enjoyed this so much/In your bio you said you write for children and so do I

[emmajoy]

And I aways love your words, the stories they tell, the metre they dance to, plus, there's always a giggle and a roar of laughter still going strong after the third read! This is yet another gem, should be read by all the Saturday evening stay at homes because smiles are good to sleep on. :)

[Just Kim]

this is really good, kind of chuckled there at the end.

[Dayran]

A reading delight. Appeals to the child in all of us. It would certainly exclude the issue of theft and disregard for the property of a neighbour. I wonder if it would have worked better with a fox in your place and a pelican in McGregor?