Dear Brain

Written in 2023

You shielded my eyes and squeezed my palpitating heart till its blood dripped down the crevices between your fingers,
till it screamed shattered and pained,
pieces of flesh writhing in the palm of your hand,
a life you seldom knew, always stomping, stomping, stomping on it till it became ashes and dust.

I wanted you to let go, let it beat till it steadied out, but your fear, your guilt, your shame trapped it in a noose you pulled tight, tight, and only tighter till you were so wrapped around it you lost sight of who it belonged to.
Your attempts at protecting me from my strained heart only destroyed me quicker, quicker, quickest when you let me go to control the heart you once sought to protect.

So I let you go to protect me, and in return you held me, my heart, my air captive, until you held my breath so steady I couldn’t breathe at all, till a steady breath felt suffocating and I slipped, slipped, slipped away.