I Hated Her

I hated her.
She gave birth to me,
and I didn't want to live.
She protected me,
and I didn't want protection.
She told me what to do,
and I didn't want to be controlled.
She set house rules,
and I didn't want to be restricted.
She paid for my college,
and I didn't want to learn.
She called me her baby,
and I didn't want to be babied.
She cried when I tried to kill myself,
and I didn't want pity.
She touched the scars on my arm,
and I didn't want her questions.
I hated her.
She lay in a hospital bed,
and for once, I wanted
a life,
her protection,
to be controlled,
to be restricted,
to learn,
to be babied,
pity,
her questions.
I hated her.
She lay in a hospital bed,
and I didn't want to lose her.

Author's Note

Written 8/1/17