Us

Her chocolate colored wisps of hair,
Her grey-green eyes,
Her freckles and frowns,
Her crinkled nose when she's mad,
Her vampire-looking teeth when she smiles,
Everything's perfectly placed.

The way she laughs at absolutely nothing,
The way she squeals when she's thrilled,
The way she says hello to everyone,
The way she says the honest truth even when it hurts,
The way she does the opposite of what everyone else does
Keeps me going throughout the day.

When she puts her hand
in my hand,
I forget that we're
the unfamiliar territory
to any girl who doesn't
have a girl all to herself.
All that matters is us.

Reviews

[Willard Wells]

Love can be a pleasant surprise and the pleasure you feel being with another is all that matter. Well done.

[Treble]

Thank you so much!

[Willard Wells]

I wanted to add that I don't think you need the statement of her hand in your female hand. I understand why you did it, but I feel it takes away from the piece. Just "In my Hand" is more than enough. JMHO

[Treble]

I actually want to keep that. Without that, this is just another love poem. And this poem is meant to advocate for LGBTQPlus people.

[Willard Wells]

I understand that, but with everything else I just felt that message came through anyway. But as always, it is your work and your view that matters. Nicely done.

[Treble]

It did? Okay, I'll take out in a bit.

[McBear]

Hmm. I feel this could be taken in many ways. I love the imagery you used to describe her in the beginning. I got a feel for the person, deeply.

[Treble]

Really? That's so awesome! It's exactly what I was going for! Thanks!

[McBear]

:) No problem!