Oh, My Friend

Winds cease to blow,

The night grows ever darker,

As do you.

 

Clouds shed a tear,

The sky begins to fade,

Like sunset into night.

The roses wither,

My heart cries.

It cries for you.

 

Swiftly moving

Are the waves that you are,

Fading without a trace.

 

Silence grips the night of day,

As you wither away,

Forever lost.

Author's Note

I wrote this poem two days ago. What do you think?

http://tlng.me/17iEnfZ Please vote for it! Thank you to whoever does! Also, please spread the word! Thanks!

Reviews

[D]

Losing someone, especially a dear friend or family member. .. Well that usually hits very hard, and painful. Very well penned. :)

[Treble]

Thanks! And no kidding, it really does hit hard... I've never been through it myself, since I haven't experienced my first death of a close friend or family member, but I've seen others go through it. It really tears out my heartstrings.

[D]

I did. Even the suicide attempt of my lover... Some kind of invincible darkness lingers around at these events ...ugh.
and you're welcome.

[Ruth]

Beautiful and melancholic, both a most captivating read Treble. Moves the reader in many ways, the emotion is palpable :)

[Treble]

Thank you so much! :)

[Inject Positivity]

There is a melancholic and sad tune in the poem, it's like I'm losing someone so very close to me, it's like my frnd and I were there just a minute ago but he/she vanished away within blink of an eye... So powerful and hits hard in the heart... Very well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Treble]

Wow, thank you so much! Means a lot to me! That's exactly the idea I was trying to portray. :D

[747]

This poem is stilling to me. Most would usually say it is 'moving' but when I read it I feel it creep into my mind and create a stillness there. I am drawn to your words though I don't know fully what they mean. I understand the loss, but not having any backstory to go with it is irksome yet freeing.

"Silence grips the night of day," where did you come up with this line? It's astounding. Excellently done.

[Treble]

I honestly have no idea where that line came from. :) It just came. :D Thank you so much! I can't believe my poetry has that much power over the mind!

[Idk]

I really like this piece. Lots of emotion. :)

[Treble]

Thank you!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

Lots of emotion and depth in this piece.
i like the way it has been written out.
I enjoyed reading it.
keep writing :)

[Treble]

Thank you!

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

No worries :)

[Elodie Thompson]

It's brilliant the way you managed to convey the emotions through your selection of words. The poem contains a very sorrowful theme but your diction and style of writing really made the poem captivating. I really liked the way you interpreted the natural aspects such as the sky, flowers and so on by comparing them with the sadness that one feels upon losing a very good friend or someone they care about. Very well done.

[Treble]

Thank you!

[Elodie Thompson]

It was my pleasure.

[....................]

Very nice use of personification and deeply sad... be it about a friend moving or passing away, the memory fades... nice writing, Treble!!

[Treble]

Aww, thank you! You have amazing writing too!

[....................]

you are welcome, and thanks...

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Well, this is awesome. "Clouds shed a tear" rain. "The night of day" creative. Nicely done. :)

[Treble]

Wow! Thanks so much! I'm glad you loved it! Second one's my favorite as well. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome :)

[SyberRose]

I always love when romance whether sad or not is blended with nature...nicely done...SyberRose

[Treble]

Thank you so much!