Whiplash

Chapter 9

Whiplash

Another day, another nickel. Except this morning I got mail. It's a rare moment, but also heartwarming. One of my brothers from my foster home was coming over to visit the coach of our football team and wanted to have lunch. The letter seemed a bit formal for just lunch, but I'm not complaining.

Clyde also got a letter from his parents. It must have been unpleasant because he just sighed and threw it on his bed pretty hard.

I asked Clyde, "Everything alright?"

"It's nothing."

"How's the classes doing."

"FINE GODDAM."

"Ok." I wasn't going to pursue the subject. It was obviously touchy. I had a piano class, but the teacher canceled because her daughter got sick. I wasn't going to complain, but I still went to Samule's House and study for a bit.

I started to worry about Clyde. It seems like he has been under a lot of stress lately, more than a college student normally has. Maybe I have been too astute into my own problems that I don’t see what’s around me.

“What are you studying their, Satteo,” Dr. Sullivan made me jump out of my skin when he said that.

“I’m suppose to be studying this book for English lit, but I’m too worried about my roommate.”

“Tell me more.”

“I asked him this morning about how’s he doing, and he jumped all over me about it.”

“You know why some music students are like that here.”

“Deadlines, expectations, and...”

“External pressure.”

“What should I do?”

“Do what I do; procrastinate positively.”

“What?”

“I should be evaluating students progress right now, but the man wants me to do paperwork instead of actually meeting these kids. So I roam these halls to get a sense of what these students are doing, and how they are doing, then the paperwork becomes easy because I actually know these kids. And I judge them not based on written comments, but actual knowledge.”

“Nice.”

"I have paperwork to do now on a kid who thinks this pop diva is a musician."

"Have fun."

"You too kid." This is only the second time I met dr. Sullivan, and already I feel like he is my godfather. I would love to hear his music, but i heard he never published.

It was getting late and I had to go to Dr. Saint for approval to go off campus. He allowed me to go for one hour and fifty five minutes. I darted off to the bus stop and went into town for lunch with my brother.

He was waiting outside the diner I met Noah at. He was wearing a business suit that made him look thirty. It was well tailored to his six foot five linebacker figure. His dark hair was freshly cut shorter than I remembered.

"Hello Satteo," he said.

"Nice to see you again, Jonas."

"It has been way too long."

"Obviously. What's with the suit?"

"I was adopted by these rich parents. They saw me play at the public school and wanted the publicity. They didn't even show up."

"Typical. And the letter?"

"I don't know your phone number."

"I don't have a phone. Part of the whole I don't want to be disturbed thing."

"Which brings me to my questions. You doing good?"

"Yes. I've been mostly maintaining a 3.92 GPA."

"That's good?"

"Yes. School average is 2.91."

"Still sleeping with strangers?"

"Not... anymore."

"How long?"

"...A week since my last. Three months since I was official."

"Satteo..."

"I don't want to hear it for the umpteenth time."

"Bathroom stalls."

"It wasn't like that."

"It still scares me."

"Don't you think it scares me too? Don't hold that over me."

"Well, if I get in I am gonna do everything to be your roommate."

"I have to get back to school. Sorry we didn't get to have lunch."

"Satteo... Please tell me one thing. Are you still single?"

"It's complicated."

"Bye."

"Bye," I ran off like a little kid. Jonas has never been the same since we were in high school. He may be two years younger than me, but he acts like he's five years older than me.

I ran back to Hillard East. I went up to my room and laid on my bed. Jonas and I grew up together. He has been the only strait guy to have heed me through my rough childhood, even when I'd pushed him away many times. Jonas told me that Car would be my worst breakup, and even when he was right he never rubbed it in.

My focus should be on my homework before I go to my next class, but my ADD is really getting to me with everything that has been happening. I hated my medication and only electively took it. I've never felt overwhelmed enough until today that I felt like I needed medication to help.

I kept it in the drawer of my nightstand. Hesitantly, I pulled it out. I haven't taken them in months, but I remembered that I had thirty pills in the bottle. There was only five left in the pill bottle. Someone has been taking my medication.

Clyde stormed in at that moment. Boy was he flabbergasted that I realized he was taking my medicine.

"Clyde... What in the HELL IS GOING ON?"

"Like you were using it. Really? You have ADHD."

"No, ADD. I was diagnosed when I was ten. These are not some study aid. They are actually dangerous which is why I don't take them unless I absolutely had to."

"How? How are they dangerous?"

"Your so focused on your work that you have tunnel vision. I could not develop healthy friendships or even talk to anyone except about school work. If anyone broke my concentration I break down and I hit others around me, even those not involved."

"At least you can do good enough to have nights off and lounge around..."

"Un-medicated. The last time I took a pill was two years ago."

"You don't understand."

"Are your parents pressuring you to get better grades?"

"Yes."

"You've been doing your best and they should be dam proud of that."

"Satteo... I try... But... It's just too much." Clyde broke out in tears. I consoled him, but he just pushed me away. I knew from experience that I just needed to leave him alone. As I walked out with the pill bottle still in hand, his crying got louder and louder.

At first I was walking, then I was picking up the pace. Soon I was running down the tunnel to Main Tower, up twelve flights of stairs an into Miss Hunt's arms. I told her everything that was happening between me and Clyde. I told her to take my medication and dispose them.

 My class was now half over. I'm glad it was just over western music styles because I know that pretty well. It was also my last class of the day. I went back to Hillard East through the tunnel. There, I met up with Nathan.

"Hey Nate."

"Oh, Hey."

"Problem?"

"Are we..."

"Like I said, I am not the best, but I'll try."

"Oh..."

"Come here," Nathan embraced me.

"Satteo... How do you do it?"

"What?"

"Smile."

"Oh, I'm certain my face is just stuck like that."

"I missed you."

"Umm...yeah...me too." Truth be told, I forgot about Nathan. We went to his dorm room an I fell asleep in his arms. It may have only been 4:30 pm, but I was tired. In Nathan's arms I let the world drift away.