6-3-15

I see you lying in the bed we've constructed on the surface of the earth you're smiling wide, eyes crinkled at the outer corners all while sparkling sending me small enveloped letters of appreciation i'm dancing for you, naked in the wilderness shouting words of the violent femmes with interjections of your solid chuckles I collapse onto you, my way of bowing after a performance, breathing heavily I light a cigarette your curls are scattered all around you and you brush my own behind my ear, staring at my clean face you said "you're so beautiful" and I could only think the same about you with the harmony of the birds and the whisper of the wind wrapping every crevice of our bare bodies I inhale your breathe as my own air and I felt my highest in life the only words I could find in the clouds of the sky were I love you though the only words I could find in the back of my mind were you'll hate me one day I see you the boy who had given me all the hopes and aspirations a being could find in this sick cold world you gave me confidence and self respect, all while having not an ounce of any of this yourself I tried desperately to give back, id decline and say "you need this more than I want this" you'd refuse, because you were the boy whose only hopes and aspirations in this world were for me to be the best I could with your help now I stand before you all the confidence and ambition I could have and your wrung out you have nothing left inside because you shoved it all down my throat with your very fist and i can't help but to scream at you telling you that you're stupid that you're pathetic what has happened to you I see you your body long and slender your skin is stretched so tightly over your bones that they seem to tear your flesh with every movement the pits of your cheeks now resemble craters and your sockets look weak struggling to grip the eyes that already seem to have slightly slipped from there place they look sad out of place and every fiber of my being is scrambling to find a way to fill that rose colored plump back into your body and add some comfort to those eyes I want to kiss you, in thought that when I open my sad out of place eyes your own will be cured and your skeleton would have stopped splintering your forever apricot suit but they were the same only I swore id seen a sparkle in the one something that said i'm okay or maybe something that said you've destroyed me

Reviews

[DeerInHeadlights]

wow... this is amazing. You have been able to capture what happens all too often so beautifully. it brought tears to my eyes.
"the only words I could find in the clouds of the sky
were I love you
though the only words I could find in the back of my mind
were you'll hate me one day"
I can so relate to this.. so much. thank you for bringing your poem to my attention.

[T. R. Ash]

There is nothing that gets me more than when a stranger is moved and can feel my writing.. thank you so much for that. Youve started my day wonderfully.

[DeerInHeadlights]

I am glad.. you are very talented..

[T. R. Ash]

you're amazing

[P.J. Amey]

It reminds me of the phrase "falling from grace" and exceptionally paints a very vivid and relate-able picture for the reader. So much so i could immediately pin point an Ex this reminded me of. So hats of to you for being able to use your words as a tool to pry loose deep and possibly repressed emotions about love and love lost.

[T. R. Ash]

That is, by far, the best piece of feedback i have ever gotten.

[B. Boileau]

A haunting piece that had me meserized from start to finish. A heart breaking story never ending just with different characters. I LOVED THIS PIECE !!!!
Thank you for sharing
bill

[T. R. Ash]

The chatacters are the same people, they just change and grow a lot

[T. R. Ash]

Thank you so much for your love

[Wem Ortiz]

beautifully crafted I have nothing to say but an awesome work, I feel the longing of love. this will forever be a part of me. Thank you for sharing this.

[T. R. Ash]

Oh my goodness, thank you so so much!
That's incredible to hear, I appreciate it so much!!!