Oops

...idk

Winding road
25(mph), all alone
turn off the music
turn off the noise
tune out the world
as you pass it all by
listen intently
you will hear
the gentle roar
as you steer
engine purrs
keys clank
wind goes by
sweet. Soft.
not enough.
45? 60? 95.
oh yeah...
it rained last night
tight corner
flooded road
oops
breaks squeel
not a chance
two wheels?
one? none.
roof. Wheels.
corn field.
Dead? no.
upsidedown? sideways.
bleeding? yes.
phone? no.
who will help?
who will find me?
isn't there someone there
beside me? no.
all alone.  Listen
water. peaceful
look. soft colors
feel. warmth
sunlight.
beautiful field.
restful waters
restless mind.
 

Author's Note

umm.. yeah i have no idea what this was... just started writing

Reviews

[Exotic Topics]

I think you did really well on it for not knowing. I love how I can understand fully what's going on with such few words. Very interesting piece. Usually when I find works like this, the person won't use the right words, or they'll miss something and just.. it won't make sense. However you seemed to accomplish this rather well.

[Allie]

I think you did a great job on this for something that you just wrote out of the blue. I know so many people (and even myself) that have thought about at some point in their life if anybody would care if they just drove into a tree. It may just be writing to you but I am sure it means much more to other people. Thanks for sharing.

[kink]

thatz something which can hold someone till the end...light stuff but nice

[Harmonica winds]

I loved the first six opening lines to this write. Amazing words here. I like this write

[Canicus]

I like this. good imagery, and you cant tell the desperation for someone. good write keep it up

[NinjaPi]

wow this is really great. it feels like music to me.

[Ben Taylor]

The ending is what really made this poem. The contentment with the situation after the crash is so completely contradictory with the stress or fear that i assumed would come afterwards that it piqued me interest. Nice job.

[Alicante lullaby]

the pacing is brutal...

[erik_nihil]

Wow. The words danced, like music, down the page. If you 'just started writing' this and it came out that way, then keep it up. It was definitely inspired. By true events? In any case, it was captured like a story and read like a song. I like the present tense -- makes it immediate and fluid -- and the mixing up of the meter further syncopates the beat, like music, again. If I would be pressed to find something that might be improved, perhaps it would be the second-person beginning. The poem ends in first-person, so it loses a bit of its power in that transition. Get rid of the 'you' early on and go back to 'me.'

[Dilan Gray]

I think this is great! I could picture everything.