Finish It Contest

Short story based off from a 'finish it' line

Why....

shadows stretched down  the corridors in every direction make it much easier to stay hidden. the little bit of light given off every ten or twelve paces helped make the guards easier to spot as well. "though with those heavy feet "I'm sure i could navigate around them if i were blind." she scoffed softly to herself. two more guards passed her then, their foot steps receding down the hall behind her. turning down the corridor on her right, she avoided hitting her head on one of the torches. keeping to the shadows and avoiding the steady guard sentry along the way, she continued to go over the directions in her head. "one more right turn before i need to cross the hall." it would be tricking walking out into open space. "but i'll have to take my chances." 

why didn't i listen....

looking down either end of the hall, she waited for another set of guards to pass before quickly stepping across the space and into a joining hall. two more quick turns and she found herself looking down a corridor at a heavy wooden door. the metal work holding it together and in place gave off a faint shine in the fire glow of the torches. she reached out, touching her fingers to the lever and pressed down, hearing the almost silent click of it unlatching. Cracking it open she was caught off guard as someone pushed her hard from behind, causing her to fall on all fours into the room. the heavy door thudded closed behind her as she reached for her dagger, spinning around and crouching in place.

"eden?" 

she almost dropped her blade.

"what the hell are you doing here? how are you here at all?"

"eden finally got ahold of her senses and slowly stood. "vaelyn." she stated plainly, keeping him in her line of site  as she tried to make herself looked relaxed and in control. 'anything except the rampant chaos running through my veins right now.' she thought.

why didn't i listen to that voice inside my head.....

"how did you get in here, the whole castle has been on lock down since you're little stunt." he looked her up and down, no doubt searching for any wounds. "as it is, i should be arresting you myself, but..."

"but what?" 

"but for some insane reason i trust you." 

eden could see he was just as surprised by his confession as she was. 'don't know what i expected him to say.' nodding, she replaced the dagger in her boot leg. "i was hoping to find you actually, though i did not realize this was your room." she shrugged, doing her best to act nonchalant. she'd known it was his room, she just didn't expect him to be in it when she arrived. 

"oh and why is that exactly." he raised an eyebrow, his eyes questioning. 

suddenly there was a heavy knock on the door. "vaelyn." a deep voice called through the wood.

"quick, under the bed!" vaelyn said sternly as he shoved her toward his four poster. the draped and sheets hung low enough to obscure anyone from seeing past the shadows beneath it. 

scurrying quickly across the floor and under it, she calmed her breathing as he opened the door. 

"there you are!" the voice exclaimed. "kira has been looking everywhere for you." she watched as the man's boots stepped into the room. "that girl, the one you brought earlier, i guess she got away. the guards had her trail out into the woods, but it just disappeared."

"are you saying she just vanished?" vaelyn asked, turning to face the man.

"so it would seem." he didn't sound convinced though. "you haven't seen her have you? i mean we all saw you giving her goo goo eyes before kira took her away." 

kira scoffed. "i don't know what you're talking about. if i had seen her i'd have turned her in already. she is a danger to the king and that is far more important than any eyes i may have been making." 

eden watched from beneath the bed as vaelyn walked around while he spoke. he came to rest squarely in front of the bed.'idiot.' she thought.

"i think the knight doth protest too much or in your case, you don't seem all that sincere in your wish for the king's protection." she could hear the  smile in his voice. "in fact, I'm sure she lost the trackers by hiding and backtracking to the castle." 

"fenn what are you...."

it was too late, the man, fenn, was down on all fours between vaelyns legs and staring her in the eye. "hello sweet heart."

why didn't i listen to that voice inside my head that told me this was a bad idea? 

Reviews

[Dark Rider]

Wow, this was just amazing. I loved how you used the opening line as a continuing thought throughout the entire story, and as the finally closing sentence. That was something I hadn't really thought of anyone doing, but I love it. I wish there was more to this story because I want to see what happens to Eden now that she's been found, which was a great cliffhanger as well. All in all, I love everything in it. There are a few grammar mistakes, but other than that, amazing job. :)