7/19/12

this is included in my late night thoughts, but it is also a silent confession to the one i'm writing about

it's early morning, or late night, which ever suits you best i suppose to think about it. i've been thinking more lately, far too much if you ask me and sleeping too few hours, far too little if you ask anyone else. it's all quite ridiculous, atleast if you ask me outright, yet i know it's rational in the  confines of my thoughts, my dreams. i don't know when it started, or i do i suppose, it may have started the moment i met you or possibly the first time we spoke about anything really besides the jobs we are committed to. the time in which this all began may have been inappropriate at worst, but a light in a dark room at best; and as you know I'm afraid of the dark, so that light, however small, was more than enough for me. i suppose i may have taken your words as more, that is why things are as they are now, me over thinking and not sleeping. i should have been honest before, will try to be completely honest now , but i will have to apologize if i may not be able to express some of the things i know. 

we started our friendship off with words, innocuous words between two people who knew nothing about one another but were willing to try. for what ever reason we had a  connection and it's my fault for thinking more of it than i should. i know you haven't given me anything to lead me on, but i won't deny the pull i have when I'm talking to you, when i see you.  i know this may all seem like far to much to handle, know that i should have probably just kept my mouth shut and left it alone, suffered in silence because eventually i'd forget. however, i feel like the most honest thing, the thing i strive for most, is to tell you outright. i like you, far more than i should and have since i met you. 

i like you because your yourself, not because of how you look or act, though those parts of you do not pass right over me. your constant strife calls out to me and makes me want to reach out to you, try to help you as best i can, but i suppose i've realized that you don't really want my help. i also know you don't need it, your strong in will as you've well shown, you just need help expressing your voice to the ones who need to hear it. 

Author's Note

as i said this is a confession, but i like to know that i'm getting my feelings across in my writing, so please let me know