Unforeseen Consequences

Not a Jenkins story, but this time it was written at 5 am.

Unforeseen Consequences

By: Darren Welsh

The mercenary was hired by another weakling to loot a dying planet. He assumed this job would be another walk in the park. But that speculation changed when his employer found a curious artifact floating in an ancient structure. He urged caution but the naive boy didn’t listen. He lifted the artifact inferring that he would fetch a good price for it. That’s when the monsters attacked. Out of nowhere they came in huge numbers. Lemurians, Parents, Vagrants, and hundreds of other species of creatures. The mercenary fought some off, but he couldn’t pull of a miracle. The sky itself started raining fire, comets crashing down, destroying their ship and his only way off the planet. His employer cried out in fear just before a Parent pounded the life out of him. The mercenary ran for his life, jumping off of ledges and into ditches. He could not hide or run away, it was like the monsters knew exactly where he was at all times. “Why are aliens from different solar systems appearing on this deserted planet in the middle of nowhere?” He bypassed hundreds of enemies and sliced through those who stood in his path. But he took serious damage… the mercenary’s suit allows him to regenerate over time, not instantaneously. He used his maneuvering system to dash past the horde and climb up the steadily approaching mountain. A dead end was inevitable. Fortunately something caught his eye, an old teleporter was lying in front of him. He slammed the button but it needed a couple minutes to warm up, and at that point it seemed as if time itself stopped. … Then the ground shook violently and split open. Magma flowed freely and the sky turned red with flames once again. Just at that second, a colossal worm whose scales were made of fire emerged from the crack in the planet. There was no warning, the worm lunged at the mercenary hoping to devour him whole. He dashed away and cleaved the end of the worm off. It let out a high pitch screech that summoned more monsters to attack. However, the mercenary was highly trained with his sword and made quick work of the beasts before hearing another rumbling from the crack. The second time the worm came out of the ground he pierced its head and ended its life. The gargantuan left behind some sort of indescribable essence. The mercenary was reluctant at first because of what happened with the artifact, but this was something… different? He stepped forward and reached to grab it, but it was intangible. The essence spread to his shoulder and then to his whole body. He panicked like anyone would in this hostile environment, until he felt the strength it granted him. The gas-like substance dissolved and the mercenary absorbed its energy. He was now much stronger, faster, and bolder. The teleporter was primed and the mercenary walked through it expecting to find civilization… Little did he know of the horrors that awaited him on the next planet.

To Be Continued…

Author's Note

I don't know about you guys, I kind of liked this story. It's been a while since I enjoyed writing something. Couldn't resist the Half life reference.

Reviews

[Archos]

It very well written and it even made me read at a fast pace, but it doesn't feel like a short story. For me it lack introduction and a lot of background information (on the characters, setting and so on...) In my opinion, you should take this as a framework and spend a little more time with it. So verdict: I liked it, but it doesn't really feel finished.