Ever Felt Quite Like This?

What I feel when my own brand of depression hits.

Blank mind, racing pulse, aching heart…

It hit again. Depression.

You try to block out the painful feeling in your heart, but it only makes it worse. The voices kick in and you know it’s too late to back out. Finally you cave in.

Who cares if I die?

Who’ll miss me anyway?

I’m just a waste of space…

The voices plant a feeling of uselessness is your mind and you think giving up was a good idea. You reach to grip the knife that you knew all too well and slowly run your fingers along the previous battle scars you earned only yesterday night.

Who cares if I cut again?

Nobody will notice my pain anyway…

Carefully you run the knife deep into your skin and you know that there’s no turning back now.

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

One for every day of the week that you were alone and lost in your mind.

Two for every time you were rejected by a guy.

Three for all the bullying you have faced.

Four for how many times you were ignored.

Five for all the sadness and anger you have caused towards others.

Six for all the loses you endured in your life.

And seven for how stupid you were to listen to the voices.

Why do I do this to myself?

Why do I listen to them anyway?

Why can’t I just feel happy again?

Why won’t my happy music work anymore?

In all reality you knew that you were dwelling on something that didn’t even matter.

Bullying

Rejection

A dead friend

All the things you swore you’d just drop; that you’d just forget about.

Now look what you’ve done…

Tell me this… have you ever felt quite like this?

Author's Note

What I feel when my own brand of depression hits. And please know that I don't cut. I added that part for those who have cut before and feel this way.

Reviews

[Persona]

I understand your point of view. Sometimes our emotions are so strong that we think about the worst things. This is topical at the moment on the site and a lot of people feel your pain. I think I would delete everything after 'Who cares if I cut again?' Because it would leave the poem on a cliffhanger - that the person may decide to end it once and for all. It would leave me in suspense.