On Family and God

Your mother and your father will sit across from your brothers

and your sisters, and whisper, and hold hands, and pray,

“We didn't mean for her to turn out this way.

Where did we go wrong? What did we do wrong?”

And you remember when your mother grabbed your arm

and screamed in your face, “I didn't raise you to act this f*****g way.

I raised you moral, and God-fearing, and you're a fucked up little girl.

And you're off-course, you are steering along the devil's roads.”

And you said,

"God abandoned the world a long time ago."

And that she was stuck in a past that she had never known.

Said she's crazy, making up stories, to justify the way she is.

Then she slapped you, and told you, “You don't know what you're talking about.”

Well, she'd sit at the table with your aunts,

and cry, and ask them, “Where did I go wrong?”

And your uncles in the next room would turn the television on

and watch a movie about a soldier who lives in sin all on his own.

Oh, you remember when your mother took you to church on Easter day.

And the preacher in the white robes said, “God sent his son to wash our sins away.”

And you said to your mother,

“If God loves and forgives everyone, then what is hell for?”

And she said, “It's for the sinners.”

Now she's sitting at dinner alone, 'cause her husband's with another woman

and she can't bring herself to pick up the phone.

To call him, to ask him where he is. And she forgot to make any friends.

And so she's eating alone.

And you remember when she kissed you and told you that she loved you

after she hit you or said you were disgusting.

And all you could think was, 

“This love thing is awful,” and that,

“Hell couldn't be so bad.”

And you're lying alone in bed.

God abandoned the world a long time ago.

He's forsaken his children here to live on our own.

And it's crazy, they keep believing that he will come back to us-

and I laugh at solemn faces, 'cause they don't know what they're praying for.

And I remember when my mother said, “You're crazy and wrong.”

and I said, “I know demons, but there isn't a god, he's dead.

I killed him. Good riddance. 

Now maybe I can get some rest.”

And the silence stilled and stretched.

Reviews

[Rick Puetter]

An interesting read. It's more of an emotion rejection of God than an intellectual rejection of God, and I find that very interesting and in many ways compelling, but not what i usually expect from pieces with this theme. So it made me pause and think. Very nice.

Best regards,

Rick

[Samantha Tamburello]

This is a heavy hearted read. So emotional and raw, I just love it.

[Revolutionary]

twisted re enactment of dinnertime. i was into it all the way till the end.I wanted the ending to be a bit more climatic.maybe murder something a little more tangible than god