Eigengrau

I have condemned many more men than I have saved.

I have sent so many young men to their graves.

And I have asked help of no-one, even those I claimed to love,

and I have spent so many nights alone.

I have dreamed many more dreams than I have lived.

I have done many terrible things, where do I begin?

Now I am broken, I am damaged, I am lying on the floor,

and I have spent so many nights alone.

It's the scars still healing on our chests that let us know

we have ever held hearts.

It's the scars still bearing their marks on our wrists

that assure us that we once loved.

I am broken, I am damaged, I am lying on the floor,

and I don't feel a thing.

My blood runs hot, I walk in a hurricane.

You're a steady stream, and your heart pumps only rain.

You will ask help of no-one and you claim you've never loved,

and you have spent so many nights alone.

You have killed many more men than you can count.

You have broken every rule you wrote yourself.

Now you are standing, you're uncaring, for you've convinced yourself you can't,

and you have spent so many nights alone.

It's the scars still healing on our chests that let us know

we have ever held hearts.

It's the scars still bearing their marks on our wrists

that assure us that we once loved.

You are standing, you're uncaring, for you've convinced yourself you can't,

and you don't feel a thing.

And you- you're taller than I am, I'm braver than you are,

and we're both caught in between.

And you- you're stronger than I am, I'm fiercer than you are,

and we're both in a race to keep up.

You're clouded by judgement and running away.

I'm clouded by judgement and running away from here,

so far from here, my mind is made, my eyes are set ahead of me.

You are standing, you are hurting, and you don't understand-

what is that there beneath the skin on your hands?

I am broken, I am damaged, somehow I know I'm safe here by your side.

Could this tunnel bear a light?

It's the wounds fresh bleeding on our chests that let us know

something's been returned.

It's the scars we're watching fade from our wrists

that use us, and abuse us, and tell us that we're wrong- for we can't understand.

You are standing, I am leaning, could it be we make each other whole?

Could it be we feel again?

You are falling, I'm already there, and you land here by my side.

Somehow I know I won't be alone tonight.

Author's Note

Eigengrau is a German word referring to the the uniform dark grey colour that can be perceived in the absolute absence of light.