How I feel

this is a poem about one of my suicide attempts

she sat alone

her mind racing

her fingers tracing the scars on her wrist

wishing instead of lines

they had been kissed

but in her mind

she thought

if she died she wouldn't be missed

they would not care

and she knew she could no longer fair

her body asked for a grounding

she smiled as she let her demons take over

grabbing her blade

siting in her tub

warmed water filled to the brim

she sat naked

disgusted with her ugly fat body

she ran her finger

 along that lines

 that teased death

grabbing her blade

pushing it in

sliding straight up

smiling an evil smile

she knew she would be gone in a while