Love is more.

18 years and still no boyfriend. For many teenage girls, this would degrade them and put the false accusations into their heads that they are ugly and unwanted. For a long time that's how it was for me too. People often told me I was pretty, sure maybe I'm not society's expectation as far as my weight, but that's my father's fault, not mine. This past month my senior class had mock elections. Out of 600 kids, I was in the top four for three different categories, class clown, best laugh and heart of gold. So if the rest of my classmates could see these qualities in me, then why couldn't any of the boys? Prom was a whole nether headache. Talk about degrading when you have to convince a nerd to ask you to the dance because no one else did. Since then many guys have old me they would have taken me, but (this is the part where they come up with some lame excuse). So there lies the question I've asked myself for so long. If there are guys that would ask me to a dance, if I'm one of the nicest girls in the school with a good personality and good sense of humor, then why am I still single?

After years of pondering over this question, I've come up with my final answer. It's me. It's my past, it's my morals and it's my expectations that keep me from being "in love". My past is basically just one night. One night of desperation where I snuck off to some random guys house and spent the night. He'd had sex with 26 girls and he was ready to make me number 27. And that's when I learned that guys can be pigs and take advantage of you. That boy would never remember my name after that night, so why should I let him take something from me that means so much? That brings me to my next point, my morals. I try to be a good Christian, but just like a lot of other people, I fall into temptations. Honestly, I didn't get a purity ring because of my religion, I got it because I wanted respect. I want the guy that takes my virginity from me to be the one that I walk down the aisle with. I want sex to be something passionate and magical, not just for the heck of it because some guy is horny. Lastly, my expectations. Ever since I was a little girl my grandma has taught me to set my standards high and never to lower them. Besides that, I have watched way too many romance movies. I once saw a post on twitter that said: don't expect us guys to look like Abercrombie models if you don't look like a Victoria Secret model. But that's not my kind of expectations. I want a guy that loves me more than life itself, that yells my name as I walk away, that takes me on picnics and to the zoo instead of a fancy restaurant, I want a guy that respects me, trusts me, and protects me. In high school many girls don't have very high standards. they just want the jock or the homecoming king. But those are the girls who get hurt, and that's what I'm scared of: getting hurt.

This is my expectation: one day I am going to meet a guy and just know that he is the one. We are going to go on what most people would consider boring dates, but they'll be fun to us because we are together. We'll have dance parties at night and food fights by day. We'll laugh, we'll cry, but no matter what, we'll always be there for each other. We'll fight over stupid things and then make up, just to prove that nothing can tear us apart. And then one day he will ask my father for my hand in marriage. We'll have children and fight over how to raise them and how we can even afford all of this. But we'll smile at each other and know that even if we are poor, at least we'll have one another. We'll spend every night cuddling in bed, sharing our adventures from the day. And when we grow old and weary, we'll be that old couple walking down the street holding hands. Neither of us will be speaking a word, but we'll both be smiling as we thank God for each other.

Maybe it's unrealistic, maybe I'm too young to know what to expect. But I know what love is. I've seen true love in people like my parents, and I've seen fake love in the high school couple having sex at a party. I would rather live a life alone then ever live a life where my love isn't real.

Author's Note

ignore GUMPS errors

Reviews

[Stepson Fastner]

Only got one word for this well scripted true story. Bravo