ASLYUM

THERE IS A HELL WITHIN ME.A CHAOS WITHIN THEE.THIS PAIN IS DRIVING ME COMPLETY INSANE.

THIS FEAR AS THE TEARS COME DOWN MY FACE THAT I'LL LOSE MY SAINITY.MY HUMANITY IS FADING AWAY.TODAY.IM SLIPING INTO THE DARKNESS.THE SEDUCTIVE LURE OF THE ETNERNAL DARK NIGHT.TONIGHT.ALL THAT BLEEDS INSIDE ME IS DARKNESS.IM ONLY A MERE SHADOW OF WHO I USED TO BE IM INSANE

Reviews

[Dilan Gray]

I love this. It's so powerful with such strong words and images. It's a beautiful poem.

[genocide]

Thank you for your review

[Dilan Gray]

You’re welcome!

[Cherrie]

the four walls of the mind is a cold-hearted jailer. You have a strong emotion captured here

[genocide]

thanks for your review I need more reviews my dear

[Briana O'Connor]

I really like the way you enunciated each pause while still straying away from the more common formats. The poem flowed flawlessly. The depth of the words left an emotional impact. Very well done. Thank you for sharing.

[genocide]

thank you for your review hon thanks

[sonnie ibadah]

this is a very expressive poem. a feeling we all feel once in a while. sanity is never a guranteed deal. nice work.

[Pam]

Definitely how I'm feeling right now. Haha. Poems are so much better when the person reading them is dealing with those specific emotions at the present time. Nevertheless, it was short and powerful.

[Karen]

There is such raw emotion in this poem that it is poignant and intense, a cry for reprieve from the darkness that threatens to overwhelm and drive into insanity. Of course, I've always associated insanity with the losing of my mind, which means I don't know what's going on around me and hence am not affected by it (in my opinion). Great poem!

[genocide]

thanks hon i like your opioion

[Dominique Lambright]

Sorry but very to the point and you're ready senses the darkness within.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This is a haunting read... Dark and emotionally captivating...
I believe structure would enhance this piece visually... you have a fantastic theme to work with...
Keep penning.~xoxo~:)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Speaks volumes about your title and subject. Well done. You might change your format here to give it more punch. Right now--even with the punctuation--it is running all together. However, that maybe what you were striving for...
The message is certainly conveyed well.

[FlatLineBeauty]

very nice. watch your Caps and spelling. xo Winter