THE NIGHTSTALKER CURSE OF THE NIGHT THE RITUAL OF THE EVIL MALEFICUM

the nightstalker with the sorcesses liz from the future races against time to stop the sinister vampire from compelting his evil ritual from casting the world into eternal darkness

Elsewhere a tall building in a red pentegram.Maleficum wearing a red dragon crown with black jewels in it.Maleficum wearing a red royal dragon shirit.With a dragon with flames on it.He had black pants red shoes.He took out the red vampire blade.Cutting his finger.The blood hits the pentegram.The pentegram ignites in flames.For hundreds of years I've lived denied my rightful place in the realms.Tonight i ascend to glory.A demon teleported in lighting.He wore dark armor.In a black heart of darkness there were screaming souls in misery.The 666 damned souls you ordered master.Thank you now that you've brought them i no longer have any need for you zcrion.Just your blood.Maleficum's shadow comes out feeding on the demon's blood then tearing him to pieces.The vamp king snaps his fingers.The demon of darkness appears babi.Maleficum closes his eyes.The last horsewoman is dead.F**k he's as good as the legends say.Babi a shadow demon and half vampire.wearing dark black armor of the shadows.Find Nightstalker and kill him.I don't want him crashing this party.You are my emissary of destruction and death end him quickly.Yes master.Babi vanishes in black mist.Elsewhere a world destoryed a place of fire and brimstone.Remade into hell.Tons of angels in armor.implaed on black spikes.Thousands of them male and female angels all dead.Severed head severed arms legs.A tall dark figure in a black overcoat watches.Red flames ignite on his fingers as he lights a ciggerate.The son of genocide has returned heaven help us all.Elsewhere liz is flying with ns to the site of the ritual.You came back from the future to kill him yes the whole universe is cast in darkness.You are the chosen one.Then ns stops sidesteps out of the way as a huge ax flying at him almost split him in half.A dark vampire appears out of the mist Babi. Reaper remember me.I am back from hell to kill you.In my first life i sent you to hell for killing little kids.Yeah this time you die Nightstalker.Shadows appear around ns punching and kicking him.Don't interfere Liz this is my fight.Elsewhere in an ally Darkhunter impales a vampire woman in the heart with the sword retrutbution burn in hell accursed monsters.He twirls his sword around his hand really fast and puts it back in his leather jacket.A man appears in black mist in front of him.One could say the same about you.Vampire you have a death wish i shall grant it you wretched demon.Darkhunter unsheathes retribution the son of your worst enemy has returned.From the blackest hell he is a monster far worst than I.He's Shiva slayer of angels.Shiva's a myth.Then ask yourself this Darkhunter why hasn't your soul returned to the darkness.Your misson is not yet complete.Genocide is dead but his son is back from hell.The son of the goddess of destruction kail and the godslayer and world destoryer Genocide.I know your true name it's Darius your friend scholar told me.Your mother was a goddess the indian Ratri.YES Genocide killed her took her power when she was 5.I am Rebellion i have a soul.Rebellion put his hand out to shake with Darius i don't shake hands with vampires.Just put your hand on my shoulder and lets teleport to where you sense evil.Elsewhere i unsheathed absoultion destorying all of Babi's shadows.I tried to cut off babi's head A sword appeared in his hand.He blocks it.He moves with lighting speed.Slashing my chest and stomach.Elsewhere site of the ritual of maleficum.I command all the powers of darkness and shadows of the night to become one with me and ascend me to godhood eternally.Darkness and shadows overwhelm him with dark power.Dark lighting strikes his chest.Declare me a god of all the damned so I can rule them corruptly with my dark goddess Eve and usher in an age of despair and misery without hope.Elsewhere the fight You can't prevail against your own shadow Nighstalker.A shadow appeared of me in a black trench coat and black pants but he had fangs.This is what you will become Nighstalker no.I"ll never turn into a vampire.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think of the story

Reviews

[Great Aunt Astri]

I think if you had used paragraphs the story would have made more impact.

[Cecile Wonder]

This story is very good. i love your choice of words and names. you have some grammar mistakes but this is otherwise a great story.

[genocide]

yep my best stuff is of a vampire called genocide my dear

[Cecile Wonder]

well i love the name

[Fenix Flight]

Very interesting. I like the pace and the action. Good visualization right from the beginning. keep it up

[Tina Kline]

I like the story. fast paced and full of action.
Interesting characters too.

[genocide]

this is one of my favorites to but not the one i was talking about hon im glad for your review

[Winchester Saltgunner]

very dark! i love it, it feeds the darkness that hides in the shadows of all our souls

[daemok]

From a glance I'm overwhelmed. You need a great deal of spacing before you post something for your readers to look at. Remember that anything you publish, you must have the 'perfected' mentality. (Not saying it needs to be perfect, just that it needs to look -done-) This does not appear completed.

Next is the dialogue. You have to use quotation marks and proper sentence structure. If you don't, your readers will not bother to read it, just skim -which can lead to missing key moments in the writing and eventually lose your reader completely in the whole story.

Formatting, formatting, formatting, this is your critique.

[genocide]

yep but i was asking about the story if you liked it or not hon not the grammer that is irrelvant

[Leanna King]

Interesting story line. I was intrigued by your ideas, however, I do agree with sentence structure and indentations and breaks. Your imagination flows freely, and sometimes it is hard to get the "book" learned structure and style right. This is why I'm not really big on saying much about those things, because the imagination is what I look for in writing. I like how your thoughts flow, definitely.

[genocide]

thanks for your input hon i enjoyed your review

[Mizo4]

hey hun its good right but it needs editing in the sentence structure but you have some good ideas. so like break it up into paragraphs and speech but it's cool. keep it up and enjoy the writing

[Calissa Knox]

This is very dark, and interesting. I thought the the part when the demon appeared to Darkhunter out of the mist was mysterious and interesting. The imagery stays very dark all the way through. I liked it.