Twenty Something & Lost

Remi, a girl in her mid twenties, is just as lost and confused as the rest of us. She worries that she'll never meet "The One", until she met Dex. But was Dex the one for Remi?

“It's you. It's always been you. From the second you walked in that door it was you.” she said, holding her finger up at the door in question. She was having a hard time keeping her composure, trying not to cry in front of Beck. “What are you talking about Remi, what was me?” he asked, holding his breath. There was an electric tension hanging in the air between them. “From the second you walked in that door, that was it for me. Anyone I've dated or been with since haven't worked out, Beckett.” Remi told him, the frustration in her voice evident. She was exasperated but not angry. “You can't blame me for your relationships not working. It's not my fault you can't hold onto a guy for longer than a few months Miller.” Beck sighed, annoyed. He watched as Remi crossed her arms over her chest, wondering how she could still be cute when she was so angry. “Do you know why those relationships haven't worked? Do you know why I can't settle for any of these perfectly fine guys?” she asked rhetorically. Beckett just looked at her, her face was flushed and her brows were knit together but her eyes were bright and full of determination. “Because they weren't you.” she sighed. Beckett felt his body go numb and his heart stop beating for a second. Remi stood as still as a statue waiting for what seemed to be an eternity, watching as Beck registered her words. She silently prayed that he still loved her. “Are you kidding me? After all of this- all of this bullshit you're telling me you like me? You're telling me you have feelings for me?” he said angrily, taking a step forward and pointing his finger at her. “After you told me we could never be together and you almost married Dex- now you're telling me that you have had feelings for me this entire time.” his face was so close to hers she could feel the breath of every word on her face. “Yes.” she said, her voice wavering in the heat of the moment. Beckett took Remi's face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers with such urgency she fell into him before grabbing his waist and bringing him in closer to her. She felt his lips pull into a smile. “You're the worst, Miller, you know that right?” he laughed. She smiled back and shook her head. “Shut up and kiss me loser.” she replied, bringing his face back down to hers, and feeling like her heart was going to jump right out of her chest.

Author's Note

Obviously this story is only a small excerpt of what could be a novel but its an idea I've had for a while and I wanted opinions on my writing style, character profiles etc.

Reviews

[Thomas Cove]

I loved this. I kind of skimmed it, and saw that there was the word "bullshit" in there somewhere, and it seemed angry, so I went to the top and decided to read it all. I'm glad I did. It's a great love story and I think you're right. This could totally fuel a great novel. I hope you've considered, and even written some of it. I think the way you did it though, where it was all one block of text, rather than in a standard 'story format' made it a little difficult for my terrible eyes to stay on track, but other than that, fantastic. :)