Chapter 1: UnIntroductions

Meet Razzie. Or not.

    You expect me to say my name, age, and why my life sucks, right?
    Well, I'm so sick of books starting like that.
     Like we don't already know by the back cover of the book.
     So, I'll surprise you. Congrats. I'm going to say exactly who I'm not.
     My name is not Frankie McSchloozer. I'm not 40 years old. I don't own a car. My birthday isn't tomorrow. I don't have a pet mouse named Squeak and occasionally hug him.
    But, since you're wondering, I will tell you who I am now.
    I'm Razzie. Or, Raz, if you prefer. I don't care, as long as you don't call me Rapunzel, which is my real name. Lame, right? Dreamy parents.
    I'm fourteen. Fifteen in three months, two weeks, and a day, but who's counting? I have green cropped hair, and purple color contacts in, just to get a mental picture. When I'm angry, I speak German.
    I hate the cliche.
    When a strong, muscular hero rescues the distraught princess, I yawn. When the characters learn a valuable lesson, then sing about it, I bang my head against a wall. It's why I try to be as different as possible.
    I have two best friends, Tee, and Jax. Since you're wondering about them, too, I'll give you a short bio of both of them.
 
     Tee: Totally non stereotypical Asian girl. Hates anime, sucks at drawing, and is getting C's in math. She loves European rock, runs in track, and has blonde tips at the end of her black hair. She may be more mature than me, but she totally gets spacey at the weirdest times.
    
     Jax: My punk rock wannabee friend who I'm 90% sure is gay. Why do I think so? Because no boy picks Will Turner over Jack Sparrow for the poster in his room for Halloween. He plays the guitar, badly, and hopes his bad boy looks, blue haired fohawk, will get him some recognition. He also ballet classes(as I said, gay) and listens to stuff like Guns N' Roses and Aerosmith. Too bad we're in the 21st century.
 
     Me? I'm weird. Freaky weird. But, and don't tell anyone this, it's all an act. That's who I am, an actress. No, I don't want to appear on TV or Broadway.Actually, I don't even get the lead roles in school plays. I'm always a side character.But I don't care. I just like to be someone who I'm not. My drama teacher said that I like to go for the shock value. Example:
     My teacher: "Razzie? Did your homework just disappear from your very binder?
     Me: "No ma'am. You need thorns and goat's blood to make objects disappear.
 
     Teachers don't talk to me much.
  
     I also don't do well in school, because I'm a 'smart a*s back talker'. I'm not, honest. I just speak my opinion. Like what I answered on my last English Essential Question.
 
    Question: Would you rather be smart, or popular?
    Response: Smart, of course. That's what teachers want me to answer. Because if they don't, I'm pretty sure they make an invisible checkmark above your head saying that they are not teacher perfect. Every teacher wants us to be smart rather than popular, so why not just conform? It would make our lives much cushier and sweet if we just answered what the teacher's biases were to.

    Let's just say I didn't get an A on that one.

    Cliche #1
  
   The hero of the book is either super smart in school, but shy, or is just struggling with the concept of learning.

    Reality?  I'm probably smart. But I don't like schools, hate classrooms, so therefore, don't try. Give me a lecture on responsibility and I'll shove it up your a*s.
 
    So, anyways, this is my story. No, tale. No, life. No. This is my adventure.
   

Author's Note

Okay, so first chapters are hard. But I kinda like this one.
Tell me if you think the character of Razzie is annoying, or needs fixing.

Reviews

[Song]

LOL Love her friends ;P

[Essy]

I'm liking it :) yeah i totally suck at these reviews, don't i? whatever. i like it.

[roarke]

Annoying is good. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Fo-ged-a-bou-dit. You had me after your first two lines.... lol. No more of those stories please!

btw, for my money, Jack Sparrow is gay..... I mean Depp constantly chooses adolescent female templates to model his characters on... and sexiest man alive award like ten years in a row? what's up with that? lol.

Tee sounds cool and fun. Will be a great contrast character. Jax is maybe too real. hahahaha. Just another really confused adolescent male. A cliche now in itself. But that's another discussion.
Razzle is the loose cannon. If you want something started look to her. A no holds barred main character.

Sounds like you're gonna have some fun. Are there any refills on the popcorn?