The Fate Of Suicide

A boy learns the aftermath of suicide.

 ----Suicide

   Its a long way down to death. And here I was, about to do it in about 3 seconds. Maybe less. I sighed. Did I really want to lose my life? Maybe.My life sucked, and its not like I wanted to keep living it. What was the point? I had no future, nothing to look foward to. I took out a cigarette and lit it. After taking a deep drag, I stomped it out. My last cigarette. So that's it. I'll do it. I took a few strides back. Then I ran to the edge of the building and jumped.Goodbye world, go f**k yourself. I thought. I felt air rush past my face, then blackness.

----Death

   I thought death would be painful. It was, but not physically. I was a spirit, or a soul, or a ghost. I had no idea. I floated around, watching everything. I saw the investigation of where I died. I saw them confirm that it was a suicide. Bingo. I saw my mom sob into my dad's sholder, and my dad's tears when they found out. That hurt. My heart would ache if I had one. I wanted to hug my mom, say i'm sorry for what I did. I wanted to beg my dad for forgiveness, and demand punishment. I would rather be grounded for the rest of my life then have no life at all. All of my emo friends were wrong, death is not cool, or fun, or worth all of those poems they dedicated  to it. I was wrong too.

    I went to my school. They had a whole assembly about me, about teen suicide. People were crying. A girl was whispering to her friends something about her first crush being dead. I was flattered. People really cared about me? I thought I was invisible. My only true friend was in the corner, sobbing her eyes out. I wanted to hug her shaking body. I wanted to pet her hair and whisper that it was okay. But my body went through everything. I walked out, and sat on the school benches. I cried, on the inside. I wish that I could feel tears.

       Another spirit appeared then. I could tell because her feet didn't touch the ground and her body had sort of a misty presence. I stared, because I hadn't seen any other dead people around. She spoke.

    "Do you regret what you did?"she asked, staring off at the moon. I nodded. "Why'd you do it?" she asked. I shrugged absently.

    "Because I didn't have the will to live, I thought that death would be the right thing." I said.

    "Why?"

     " Because I didn't know how to make my life better. I didn't know that I would want to do anything about it. I didn't try." I said the last three words in a whisper.

     "Good boy." she said, like she was talking to a dog. "If you had the chance, would you go back and change your life and make it better?"

     "Of course."

    "Good. Then since I am your Passer, I will let you redo everything. Good luck." she said. My mind was whirling. Passer? Redo? Wtf? But I didn't have time to ponder. Suddenly, my whole body was being sucked into a portal, and everything was black again.

    ----Life

   I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings. "Wha-" I said, but my words were slurred and intelligible. I was shushed. I saw an IV bag, and I felt that my right arm was in a cast, ditto the leg. A hospital? I thought vaguely. I was right.

   "Gavin? Are you awake?" I heard my  mom ask. I tried to nod, but that sent a wave of pain down my neck. "Oh thank god, I thought you were dead for sure!" my mom cried. Then she broke into tears.

   "Don't cry mom-I'm okay. Really." I whispered. My voice sounded craked and strained. She hugged me, softly, because I was so delicate. "What happened?" I asked, thinking of the spirit.

   "You've been in a coma for three weeks." My mom explained. "Your friend found you on the street passed out after you-" she coughed uneasily, "-jumped." I nodded slowly. Then it was all a dream. I was alive. I spotted a bouquet of flowers on the nightstand.

   "What are these?" I asked. My mom smiled and sat by the bed.

   "Those are from your classmates. They were worried sick about you." she rubbed my hand. "They don't all hate you. You actually have a good life" she said.

   "I know, Mom."

 ----Epilouge

  It took me two weeks to recover from that. Then I had to take six more weeks in therapy. I didn't mind. I improved my life. I stopped being so hateful and reclusive. I came out of my shell and made friends. I quit smoking. I joined after school clubs, got better grades, and even went to my junior prom. People avoided me sure, because you didn't really want to be around a suicidal kid. But eventually they started to see me, and like me.

   I felt the presense of that spirit. I could feel her approvement, her support. Her job as a Passer was to make sure I passed on to the Otherworld at the right time. I found out by reading an ancient myth book. I felt warm then, knowing that I was being protected. I felt good. Which was happening much more ever since that night. Maybe I was meant to commit suicide. To discover myself. Fate.

  

   

     

      

      

    

Author's Note

I know the spelling was off. But I want to know, did I make the theme of this story clear?

Reviews

[momo hina]

YES YOU DID AND ITS TTLY AWESOME

[Bella-Marie]

Awesome work. You're an amazing writer.

[H-Jonesy]

the theme is deffinitly clear, and the story is deep. well done

[NegligenteVampire]

Pure excellence nothing I plan on living up to that's for sure. It strikes pretty deep. Well done.

[Chellie]

I loved this. The message is so clear, and it really makes you think. I hope that someone who has these thoughts reads this and realizes how it effects loved ones around them, and how many people do care even when they don't think so.

This story really hit home for me, because I had a close loved one that commited suicide, and everything in this story is true. I think that this story, if read by the right people, could save lives.