Sublimation

sublimation:
noun [uncountable]

[1] the process in which a substance is changed from a solid substance into a gas or from a gas into a solid substance without first becoming a liquid.

[2] the process by which i fell for him.

uncontrollable, black and white,
i've never known grey anyways.
slowly, and then all at once.

no liquid transition of uncertainty.
no lukewarm tea.

the moment before i tipple the milk in is the sweetest
a reminder of his eyes for breakfast.
and then, naturally, i dilute the moment.
i have a habit of doing that:
putting too much into something,
cooling it to an undrinkable grey.

i'm always too much, or too little.

i wish i could be comfortable,
not this bone numbing cold in the mornings
and burn-your-toes-on-the-radiator nights.

i wish i could fall gradually
instead of launching myself off the ledge,
to swim would be nice
but i always drown.
i'd love to lap at your calves,
sweep over your feet;
i don't want to be a storm.

what could i pour on this oil fire of passion to quench the flames?
a candle, would be nice
why do i have to burn everything down?

he lit the match,
and there i was
thinking i would pool into melted wax,
instead i evaporated completely.

solids fall when you drop them,
and i've been falling, helplessly,
for eight months.
you expect to be pushed from the cliff edge;
i must've had my guard down when he kissed me
and sent me tumbling.

it's impossible not to fall for him
when you watch his hands move
as he tells stories.
i have no idea how he manages to make physics interesting,
but i finally understand sublimation.

- j.f.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

So much thought in your words - 'have a feeling there is personal truth here. Either that or a deep study of human behaviour, 'how it resonates within a couple or what were once close friends.

This is the core of a novel:

'it's impossible not to fall for him
when you watch his hands move
as he tells stories.
i have no idea how he manages to make physics interesting,
but i finally understand sublimation.'

Smiling...

[MLE]

This is beautifully written. Wow, just wow