Window Rain

Bound by chains of secrecy

oppressed by the words of faith

rising up

from the ashes falling

down on me like bricks and when

 

 I wait a little longer

when I breath a little harder when I

sweat a little faster nothing

stops and I feel drops of

punctual fashion trickling

sanely down my back skin

 

folding round the sinew and I

win again of only frost bite

bits of bitter bold desire takes

a hold before me as

the depths betray us

 

steadily I shiver

sold again to you

but with the passion of

the heist and

sinking

 

in your teeth

beneath my chin

inside 

my head you dare to

shed the watching

 

while I whisper

dying wishes, "let me tell you" what

I think I like

about the funky jones you've

given me for oddities of words

 

 running like mascara from those

pages in your mind;

the binding

"a's" caress my eyes,

massage my ears and oh it is already

 

 

time to turn the page,

to wait again for you to shun the 'done so thanks for

joining' in the sun she doesn't

shine when the time she stands

so still until the whining

 

winds don't dine,

for they know how to set me

free of days long gone

since I have passed

another whisper on to

 

where your lips have kissed her

and she told your lips to me.

At last, a summer breeze dances

like the dragonflies sent to

smother out the smelly spies

 

that beg of you so sweetly,

"let me spell" the magic

where we can

slowly let the tragic "Roming"

"marionetta" of

 

 

the living secrets

die. 

Reviews

[Dani California]

(a moment of silent admiration)

Shrew... I have no real words to offer at this very
moment as I am in awe of this.. and frankly, though
I caught much of it... am certain to have to read it
repeatedly to understand it in its entirety. This is
an incredible write..

"in your teeth
beneath my chin
inside
my head you dare to
shed the watching"

Brilliant. You should read 'unveiling' ... this
poem would serve as an excellent response
to that narrative ... at least in small part!

Exceptional work !! Wow...

[Mr Whiskers]

I love this. I stopped halfway through to start over so I could read it out loud to myself. Wonderful, all the way to the end.

[Rain]

I swear this is Bohemian. It has all the feel of it. That's a compliment from me. I was raised in that era. Rain..

[Spat Queen]

Although I can certainly appreciate the Lady's review, let me clarify; bad news is so the wrong words. This piece is about lust, however...
Basically[you feed me lines but they excite me, I would want you anyway ] sinking in your teeth beneath my chin--animal lust again here, the lover subjugating.
Etc. etc.[so how does the story end ... how does the song go...I know you don't love me but the hell with it, the hell with the rumors, your love is hot, you are the master and it kills me that 'she' is the one on your mind, but screw it--so to speak..]

[Collette]

I love the flow of this. Each individual stanza is strong enough to stand on its own, but together they pack a collective punch! You chose some amazing words that just meshed together beautifully:

I wait a little longer
when I breath a little harder when I
sweat a little faster nothing
stops and I feel drops of
punctual fashion trickling
sanely down my back skin

likewise,

where your lips have kissed her
and she told your lips to me.
At last, a summer breeze dances
like the dragonflies sent to
smother out the smelly spies

that beg of you so sweetly,
"let me spell" the magic
where we can
slowly let the tragic "Roming"
"marionetta" of


Both of these stanzas just floored me. I get the impression that the lover is bad news, but you just can't let it go yet. (Which made a personal connection to my life right now...) Overall, I think this was wonderful! It pulled me in and kept me engaged the whole piece. Thank you for sharing!

[fireblossom]

I like word play as much as the next person and for that I congratulate you. My impression is that this was written by a "schizophrenic mind". The quotes are to convey that I don't think you are schizophrenic but that you acheived a feeling of such in this poem. As writers we should move into unfamiliar territory in order to expand our voice and vision. This type of poem also demands a suspension of normal thought from the reader. Hence it is challenging and can be refreshing as it was to me.

[Panda]

This poem captured me, I really enjoyed this. I must say I became lost in the middle of it because it jumped around a bit, but then I became found again not to long after I became lost, hahaha. This is really good!

[Lena M. P.]

The raw passion, the beauty, the not wanting to give heart and soul to someone but unable not to. To die a little each time we give a piece of ourselves. "...steadily I shiver sold again to you but with the passion of the heist..." Very well written.

[Amely]

Intriguing, passionate, intense. I loved every line of this poem. I will go back to this for read after read.

[Jason Henry]

ah, poem is shrew style!
"and I feel drops of
punctual fashion trickling
sanely down my back skin" ---> insane!
another captivating read and write shrew!~