Beautiful reflection

A strand of golden heart sat through
Fingers laced in kindness youth
Rose cheeks spoken words of light
Walking gardens of good deeds
Luminous eyes who saw total darkness
A body with walking angels
Those who stand by staring in awe
Waves of clear intentions ever sheer
Tingles of warmth she radiates
Reserves of gifts in silent words
The tallest one in any room
Pride engraved in veins
Queen shadows of soft hues
She comes by once in a lifetime
A picture of prayers in vibrant colors
The talk of a town
Pedestal up high
To reach her
Is to be
On higher grounds

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

This I quite simply love. It is an extrodinary tour de force. A piece that remains with the reader.

[Nisreen]

So true it is
Thank you so much Ken

[andrew mitchell]

This reads like a Cleopatra or some Goddess to be admired, and worshipped in her presence.

[Nisreen]

Thank you 🙏 Andrew

[JayG]

Each line pretty much stands alone, and could be exchanged with any other line. So I have to ask: If all lines are poetic, but unrelated, is it a poem, or a quotation collection? Remember, only you are aware of what prompted the lines. Only you have context, other than what you provide. And only you are aware of your intent for how a given lime is to be taken by the reader.

In looking at your other work there's one common thread. In all cases, it's you talking TO the reader about things meaningful to you, in YOUR lfe. But what's in it for the reader? You refer to things for which the reader has no context, and your intent for its meaning, as I said, doesn't make it to the page.

My point is that the reader isn't with us to learn more of our life and viewpoint. They want to be made to feel, and care. They want to feel as if they experience events, not hear about them. And that takes a very different approach from the one we're trained in at school. There, the writing style was fact-based, and author-centric. In using it, you, the author, are alone on stage, your voice unheard. So for the reader, the words carriy no emotion but that suggested by punctuation, and, whatever context you may provide.

To hear what I mean, have your computer read the work to you. be warned, though, that because your lines aren't end-stopped, and you use no punctuation, the result may be a bit overwhelming. But it is what the reader gets, and must decode.

So, given that, instead of informing the reader, you want to invite them in as a participant, not place them, dozing, in the second row. You want to call up THEIR memories, not yours. Instead of telling the reader we cried, we strive to make the READER weep.

Make sense?

Never forget that poetic technique has been under refinement for centuries. And we're taught not the smallest thing about them in our schooldays, because they're preparing us for employment, not to work in the profession of Poet. The techniques of the poet, or fiction writer are acquired in addition to our schoolday skills. They don't even mention that the methodology for poetry and fiction is character-centric, and emotion-based.

A great introduction to things poetic is Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook. You can download a readable copy (though not on a phone) at the address below, though in the end, you'll want a good copy of your own.
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

Sorry my news isn't better, but I thought you would want to know. And you did ask... 😆

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Chris Shaw]

Lovely poetic expression here. Someone to look up to Nisreen. Thank you for sharing.

Chris

[Nisreen]

Thank you 🙏 Chris

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome

[SleeplessVolcano]

Aren't we all seeking higher ground? Well penned.

[Nisreen]

Unfortunately that requires a lot of bravery
Some people just don’t have it
Thanks

[AJNJ]

Wowza!
Can we reach a Goddess?
Tell me how so I may.
High grounds are my turf.

[Nisreen]

Thank you for your kind words

[willweb]

She sounds like an amazing creature that any person would be in awe of. I loved this portrait you have painted with words of a goddess it seems. Beautifully written

[Nisreen]

Thank you
A goddess like that deserves to be with a man that doesn’t lie and doesn’t cheat on her

[willweb]

That goes for all relationships.

[Nisreen]

What can I say
Some people are just not well raised

[Coyote Poetry]

A mini-novel in the poetry dear Nooni. I wanted to know more. I loved how you described places and memories. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Nisreen]

Thanks 🙏 C

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Nooni.

[Weeping willow]

Beautiful write as the images flow through so gracefully ;-] Loved it.

[Nisreen]

Merci 💕❤️❤️❤️❤️