Calm Strings

Upheld with no religious

doctrines 

common initiative

took precedence 

willing agreement

on a floating

rose

certainly humble

by ties 

of 

good deeds

many eyes went to sleep

awakened

by

a golden sunshine

reflecting white

so much light

the average eye

oversees

the comfort of others

birds sing

tunes of peace

this is

Utopia 

the link has been

common belief 

in 

good

an agreement 

Reviews

[.]

A world of freedom and beauty, a utopia that has awakened from its slumber, born anew on the wings of faith and the good in mankind.

If only all places in the world could be like this utopia you have described here. How much peace and serenity would there be!
A beautifully flowing poem of descriptive images, soft on the tongue and deep in the mind.
Great work.

[Nisreen]

I wrote this in Canada ........ so i think that utopia is here
thank you

[A.marie.speaks]

Great flow through this one. I like the chopped up lines because it makes me slow down and read carefully...to hear the weight in every word. I live this common belief, . :)

[Nisreen]

Thank you so much

[JayG]

Okay, the extra lines, the chopping, it's a gimmick, to try to add something unique, as is the nearly random word/phrase placement.

Yes, I agree that we want every reader to take something personal from it, but if you provide little more than a list of random phrases, what are you doing that anyone else can't do, just as well?

Poetry, above all else, is made to be read aloud, and have the words, as The Bard said, "flow trippingly from the tongue." But without punctuation, without prosody, aren't they just words?

Take a look on Amazon at the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode less Traveled. It's an absolutely wonderful introduction to the tricks of language that make poetry such a joy to read.

[Nisreen]

Thank you .....
..

[K.Butler]

Like the title, this has a calm mood. you are very good with the structure of your poems, writing how you want to reader to read it. It adds to the mood. Very well written!

[Nisreen]

Thanks ..........

[Einstein Noodle]

its the hope i see in this poem that i find very inspiring ..ah utopia ... even the series lasted briefly without even a last and final episode ... i rejoice in the common thread in your poem ...that of love with differences ... we accomplish it in marriages all the time ..its the larger scale that befuddles our efforts ... sigh!
E.

[Nisreen]

yes ............. thanks Dear E

[Amberlilies]

"so much light
the average eye

oversees

the comfort of others
birds sing

tunes of peace

this is

Utopia"

The imagery here is brilliant. I can feel myself experiencing the words as I read them. I was a little lost at the beginning but this section absolutely roped me in. Then the ending resolved the entire piece very nicely. Well done!

[Nisreen]

thank you :)

[E G TEN]

Hello Dear Poet, I hate it when I don't get the message as whole, although it is
Written quite lovely. Your writing style has improved dramatically very cool.
Thanks for the request EG

[Nisreen]

Thanks EG .................

[Richard Patrick]

That is beautiful, Thank you for suggesting I take a look at it.

[Nisreen]

Thanks Richard

[barleygirl]

Due to your writing style of breaking everything into tiny jagged seemingly disparate chunks, often, I do not follow your message as a flowing cohesive whole. In these cases, I can only comment on some of the chunks that pop for me. What this reminds me of is the way people in the US are at odds over those who want to legislate every little aspect of our lives (thru law or religion, it's all the same to me) . . . compared to those who think people should be able to self-regulate & gravitate toward caring, considerate actions.

[Nisreen]

thank you .................

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. I like your utopia. Gentle flow of words led to good ending and place. Thank you my friend for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Nisreen]

Thank you C

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.