Prologue

A Chapter by Dimension

The arrival of the two primary protagonists and a explaination of the gang war

She was lost; she wandered the streets in her rags and simply ignored the guns, knives and fists around her. The city was in chaos; gangs tried to control all the land and the law enforcement, known as Shine, fought back to protect the peace. The mayor, Frederick Theo, announced the All Out Attack on the gangs, not one was to be spared.

The girl ended up in a small street that was also at war; just as she was walking, she heard a gunshot and a bullet was coming right for her, but...someone blocked the shot. A tall man with white hair and a white robe stood there with a shield attached to his right wrist.

“Are you alright?” he asked the girl.

“Why did you save me?” asked the girl “I’d be better dead”.

“What are you saying?” the man asked “You’ve got a whole life ahead of you, why on earth would you die at a young age”?

“I’m...over three hundred years old” said the girl. The man stood there staring at her, her body looked so young and fragile, she seemed only around 10 or 12.

“What’s your name?” asked the man.

“Zi” said the girl “Just Zi”.

“I don’t know why you are like this” said the man “But it’d be best if I take you to safety, as you can see, the streets aren’t safe for a young girl”.

“You...won’t kill me?”Zi seemed worried.

“I’d never kill someone like you” said the man and the girl stared at him “I’ll protect you”.

“Who are you?” asked Zi.

“I am Alex Tarot” said the man “I’m not in a gang, but I intend to start one and change reality”.

“Reality?” asked Zi confused. Just then, they heard sirens coming closer.

“I’ll explain later” said Alex “My house is nearby, come with me” he held out his hand and Zi took it. It was so small and soft, Alex was still concerned about her being three hundred years old.

He led her to a house overlooking the mayor’s mansion, luckily, it wasn’t far and Alex used his shield to block any attack on them. They went inside and Alex locked the door.

“Hopefully no one will follow us” he said as he set up a folding chair near a fireplace, he lit the fire and invited Zi to sit on the chair. He then pulled out another chair and sat opposite her.

“Thanks” said Zi quietly “But...why did you help me”?

“I can’t leave an innocent girl in a danger zone” said Alex “You say you’re over three hundred years old, yet you look young”.

“That’s because...I’m not human” Alex looked at her in astonishment “I’m a demon”.

“A demon?” he was shocked “As in from the Demon Realm”?

“You know about us?” Zi looked at Alex with a shy look.

“I’ve had demon encounters a lot in the past” said Alex “But this is the first time I’ve met one so young, demon-wise”.

“Yes” said Zi “I am young for a demon, but...I’m also the ultimate demon”.

“No way” Alex couldn’t believe it “A young demon like you the ultimate demon”?

“My power...surpasses that of the demon king” Zi seemed a little sad “But...you can probably tell I don’t exactly have a powerful personality”.

“True” said Alex “But why does that matter”?

“Because of that, people made fun of me” said Zi “So I left the Demon Realm and came here, without knowing about the terror”.

“So what if you don’t act tough?” Zi looked at Alex when he said that, she looked amazed “I think your innocence is suitable for you...as well as attractive”.

“U-um” Zi blushed at the remark “T-thank you” she hid her face with her hands, she looked so cute.

But then, something was suddenly heard, Alex saw a window smashed and on the floor was a large wooden pole alight, within seconds, the whole house was set ablaze.

“Damn” Alex was angry, he turned to Zi to see her coughing hard, he picked her up and piggy-backed her to the front door. However, it wouldn’t open, no matter how hard it kicked or rammed, it was jammed.

“It must be barricaded” said Alex, he saw Zi’s eyes slowly closing, he started to worry. He had only one choice; he ran to the window at the back of the house and literally jumped right through it. He felt the pain from the scars the glass caused, but he was relieved Zi hadn’t been hurt.

He walked slowly to the far end of the cliff overlooking the mayor’s mansion and the city; it was a death sentence to go there. He didn’t know what to do, he had no friends or allies to rely on, except Zi, so what was he to do? Plus his house was burnt to a crisp, which meant he had no home either. But he knew his first priority was to tend to Zi, so he ran down the cliff and made his way to the hospital.

It was odd the hospital was never targeted by gangs, but this was a good thing. Alex waiting outside the treatment room until the doctor came out.

“How is she?” he asked worried.

“No need to worry” said the doctor “She simply was tired, the fire didn’t harm her, but the window hurt you”.

“I’m fine” said Alex, luckily, the doctor had treated his wounds as well as check Zi.

“What will you do now?” asked the doctor.

“I don’t know” said Alex “I have no idea”.

The nurse appeared at the door “Sir, she wishes to speak to you”.

Alex hurried inside to Zi, she lay on the bed looking calm and peaceful, she looked at him with a smile.

“You saved me” she said “I...”.

“I promised to protect you” said Alex taking her hand “I’ll keep my word no matter what”.

“Can I...ask a favour?” asked Zi.

“What is it?” Alex was concerned.

“Can I...stay by your side?” Zi blushed as she said it.

“Of course” there was no hesitation in Alex’s words “And I’ll stay by your side too”.

“You know” said the doctor “I think I have something for you to start with”.

“What is it?” asked Alex glad for an idea.

“I have a friend who refuses to join gangs” said the doctor “Goes by the name Max True, he lives off Arc Street, maybe he can assist you, he has connections and is armed to defend himself”.

“Thanks a lot” said Alex “To be honest, I was clueless, now I have a way to start, thanks, doc”.

“Zi is fine to leave with you” said the nurse “Just be sure to look after her”.

“I will” said Alex “I promised her after all” so he took her hand and they walked out the hospital, ready to find Max True.

© 2012 Dimension

Author's Note

If you like this, please let me know so I can try and continue...

My Review

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Reviews

JP Lubbert

i like the story a lot and i think it can be a great book, i love the fast passing in the descriptions but i think you have to use more trying to let the reader really see the surrounding, and the dialogue is good but you need to let it breath a little, its good for the action to be fast but the dialogue is to fast and its hard to follow, maybe separate the action from the dialogue so the characters are not talking that much in action scenes but when they have time to breath then you can explain the plot point and the characters by using the dialogue. i hope you continue this i think it has great potential

Posted 11 Years Ago

Cousitarian

I wouldn't say that I adored this but I respected it. Your idea is probably what keeps me interested but its the writing you need to make additions to. Details, details, details are what you need for this fable my friend. I had no idea where I was after the first paragraph, Zi is a 300 hundred year old demon so she should be met with awe and not casualness, and there was no explanation for the flaming pole.

I'm being a dick here, aren't I? No, I don't want to dowse your efforts here with complete negativity because, really, there is promise here. Really, the idea for this story is superb. I see a lot of color from this portion of the tale already and, if you include more description, it should turn out greater than the first try. Really, I suggest you include a prologue. Describe how the human world came to be so gruesome. Why is there a demon girl, stronger than the demon king, alone?

Again, there is work to do on this fable. Really, your writing is in need of sharpening up. Your idea is awesome. I respect your efforts, I hope you continue to work on this, and I'm going to stick around to see where this goes. I'm giving you a 75/100 bud. You deserve that much at least. Keep up the good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago

Zeph

I like the idea, and the future chapters seem promising, however... I think the chapter escalated a bit too quickly, it seemed unnatural and didn't give me a proper reason to keep reading. Especially with the second paragraph and first dialogue.

Also, more spacing in the dialogue would make it easier to keep track of what's going on. And describing surroundings, looks and tone of voices would also help to set the atmosphere.

But this is great nevertheless, love the idea and can't wait for the future chapters.

Giving this 65/100, keep up the good work :)