Murphy's Law

"Murphy's Law was my constant companion." (Twilight fanfiction)

Warning: Mild violence/gore; Also, this comes in before Breaking Dawn and somewhere after the first chapter of Midnight Sun.

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Murphy’s Law was my constant companion.

 

I realized with much disdain that my life was just a big clump of irony all strewn together and weaved in odd ways that would probably discourage most. But somehow, I was a fighter. I didn’t give up… and I didn’t know why.

 

I had lived a life of butchery for quite a while before I came to my senses and realized that what I was doing was wrong. Terribly, horribly and disgustingly wrong. For years, I had survived on the blood of others. Never did I spill the blood of my allies or those which had good intentions. No, I was sane enough to realize who deserved death and who didn’t. But who was I to judge whether or not a man died? I was not God. And that realization came to me when my eyes were finally opened to the wretchedness I had been a part of for so long.

 

I didn’t exactly remember how or when this realization came to fruition, only that it happened and I was glad it had.

 

The lust for human blood was not something that should be… encouraged. I knew that, so I ran from my previous life, ran from everything that could drag me back down into those deep, dark pits of Hell.

 

When I met the Cullen family, I found their… erm… “diet” to be rather odd, but acceptable. Feasting on the blood of animals rather than humans was a very difficult transition as human blood is much more desirable than that of an elk... but I had managed. I had made sure I would manage because of one member of the Cullen family. Technically, she was not biologically related to them, but none of them were, and I fell in love with her upon laying my crimson eyes on her.

 

Alice Cullen was the love of my life. The fact that we were brought together was not just mere happenstance, either. You see, Alice possesses a gift. It’s much stronger than mine- which is to manipulate the emotions of those around me. Alice is able to look into the future. She saw who I was and that we were going to fall in love. Ironically, I had thought that I would never fall in love. Who would want to be with a monster like me?

 

But Alice’s love was just one example of the irony that was my life. The more recent happened just as of late.

 

I had been sent on a mission provided by my mother figure, Esme Cullen. I was to seek out and retrieve food items. Yes, human food items. This was for my brother’s girlfriend. Edward, my younger brother, was better at maintaining his hunger around humans. He had a harder time with his young, human girlfriend, Bella Swan, who had extraordinarily… delicious-smelling blood, especially to Edward. But he was in love with her and determined never to take her life from her.

 

I never really understood their connection; I had never had a strong connection with any human during my “afterlife”. But, I enjoyed Bella’s company and was glad that she was coming over for dinner that night mainly because Esme was bubbling with joy and Alice was giddy with excitement.

 

This may have explained why I was left in the supermarket… alone.

 

My family often saw me for who I was not. Other than Alice and Edward (who had an intriguing ability to read minds), my family thought that I was strong. Of course, they knew that I was the one out of our coven that was struggling the most, but they put too much confidence in my self-control. I had always portrayed that to my family: the confident one, the calm one. I was useful to them in that way. I, after all, had the useful ability to control the emotions of those around me… which helped a little when you had a house full of hungry vampires trying not to gouge into the flesh of an innocent, seventeen-year old girl who was in love with one of your siblings….

 

But I was indeed much weaker than they perceived, especially when I hadn’t eaten for a while. Two weeks without food was about my limit. I could barely control any part of my body beyond that. But I was trying to make it longer, trying to make myself stronger. It was difficult, especially when I was surrounded by potential… meals.

 

And since supermarkets were not full of trees and elk like the forest, but rather clueless, helpless humans that could not escape me if I snapped, it was very… very difficult.

 

I managed to weave my way through the aisles, holding my breath most of the time. I technically did not need air to survive. My lungs burned for it, but oxygen was not what kept my life going. So I could hold my breath for a very long time. Indefinitely, if I had to, I supposed.

 

I was close to being done with my shopping trip and stopped at the shelf that held the raw meats- hamburger, roast, bacon, etc. I was about to reach down and pick up the package of raw hamburger in the highest brand name there, when I heard some giggling behind me. I often heard many noises behind me. Sometimes, having extraordinary hearing could even distract me with the conversations that were being held around me.

 

I chose to ignore the giggling and continued rooting for one of the packages that contained the most hamburger meat for the price. Another round of giggles, louder this time, and I was starting to get curious about what could be so entertaining behind me.

 

I carefully lifted the package up and turned my torso slightly to place it in the shopping cart. My eyes flitted over to the source of the laughter.

 

Three young girls, in their mid-teenage years I would have guessed, were standing not that far away from where I was. Two of them were taller. One had short, red hair and the other had long, brown hair piled atop her head in a heap that was supposed to be “stylish”. The shortest one was the most animated. Her hands never remained in one place for more than a few seconds. She had about shoulder-length, sandy hair that bobbed around whenever her head moved… which was quite often.

 

After my split-second deduction of what the situation was, I was back to picking out a second package of hamburger.

 

“I bet that Bella girl doesn’t know what to do with herself.” One of the girls giggled. I turned my head slightly to catch who had said it. The shorter one with sandy hair. A smile tugged at my lips.

 

“Yeah, all those beautiful Cullen boys all over the place. Of course, Edward is the only one available,” replied the red-head. “But, I really don’t understand. I mean, he was never interested in any of the girls at school until she came along.” This line was said with a bit more venom than the last.

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

“Hey, isn’t that a Cullen over there?” whispered the brunette. She was trying to be stealthy, unaware that I was able to hear even the lowest of whispers.

 

My smile disappeared when I realized they’d taken an interest to me. I sighed and attempted to ignore the rest of their conversation as I continued shopping.

 

But it wasn’t thirty seconds later that I heard the sound of footsteps approaching me. I tried not to turn to face the stranger, even though my body automatically reacted defensively. I didn’t enjoy people sneaking up behind me. But, I was likely to scare the person approaching me if I suddenly whipped around and stared them down like some sort of predator. So, I let the person approach on their own.

 

I felt a very soft tap on my left shoulder, almost too soft to feel on my hard, granite-like skin. If I hadn’t just been attuned to my surroundings, I most likely wouldn’t have noticed the gentle nudge.

 

I tried to look normal, even a bit surprised, as I turned to face the stranger.

 

The sandy-haired girl was smiling back at me.

 

Okay… so I didn’t have to fake the surprise much. In reality, I had half-expected it to be some sort of store employee asking me to move aside so that he or she could re-stock the shelf. Even part of me had hoped it was Edward or Alice, coming to save me... or at least keep an eye on me, even if it did irritate me to have babysitters…. I certainly hadn’t expected a girl from my own high school, let alone one that I had scared quite a few times, to come within even three feet of me.

 

“You’re Jasper Cullen, right?” She asked with that inflection in her tone that reminded me of a head cheerleader in a bad eighties movie.

 

I quickly gathered myself together again and smiled at her. “Yes, Ma’am. What can I do for you?” Instinctively, I sent out an easy vibe, one that would calm any fear she might have felt.

 

The girl looked back at her two friends, who were now staring at us with wide-eyes, and then back at me. “Do you know Bella Swan?” She asked with that same inflection. She tilted her head to the side, clearly falling for my pleasant emotional wave.

 

“Yes, I do.” I answered politely. “Why do you ask?”

 

“Isn’t she, like, your brother’s girlfriend or something?”

 

“That is correct.” I nodded once. She didn’t respond then, and instead chewed on her bottom lip in thought.

 

“Is… that all?” I asked tentatively, wanting to escape the situation now that my oxygen supply was dwindling. I may not have needed air to live, but I needed air to speak.

 

The girl looked back at her friends again. The two teenagers giggled annoyingly and scurried away. I had a feeling that I was the victim of some inside joke I hadn’t paid attention to.

 

“Oh, nothing.” The girl sighed in response to my question. Her eyes lit up then, as if she suddenly realized something. “Oh, sorry,” she said, blushing. “I should have introduced myself. I’m Whitney.” She held out her hand.

 

I looked at her once before my eyes trailed down to her hand. Smiling, I took it in my own and bowed as any gentleman would. I already knew who the girl was. She had passed by me many times in school and her mother had invited Esme to a garden party once. In fact, I knew most of the faces in Forks, if not all. The town wasn’t that large and the population was small. But, I allowed Whitney to believe that she was being polite anyway. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Whitney.”

 

That was it. The last of my oxygen fluttered through my lips with those words. I stood back up, not allowing the discomfort to show on my face at all. I would wait for her to leave before I let myself take in another lungful of air.

 

But Whitney didn’t leave. After letting go of my hand, she spun around and leaned against the grocery store shelf.

 

“You had my Trig class last year, right?” She asked.

 

I blinked at her in confusion. Why was she still here? Had I made her too calm? Did I need to instill some fear in her to make her go away?

 

I didn’t want to use my power in that way. People rarely approached me or talked to me and I was a little curious as to why this young girl was attempting a friendly conversation with someone that scared most people. I looked around again for her friends, but they were nowhere close to us. Perhaps they had put her up to a bet or a dare. I sighed internally and rolled my eyes quickly. Kids.

 

I realized, after just a second of pondering this, that Whitney was still waiting for a reply. To reply to her, I needed to take a breath. To take a breath, I needed to be away from her.

 

I craned my neck around as far as I could, as if I were going to sneeze, and sucked in air sharply. The taste of her scent danced on my tongue, making saliva form at the corners of my mouth, but it was bearable. I sneezed just for show and turned back to her, holding all the air I had re-gained, in my lungs.

 

“Yes, I did.” I replied quietly. “Did you have a question?”

 

I saw her nose wrinkle just a touch at the mention of tutoring, but she shook her head. “Nah, I was just wondering. Do you think Varner is a little uptight?”

 

I wasn’t expecting such a straight-forward question. Given time to think about it, I probably would have said yes. Mister Varner could be a somewhat “uptight” teacher, I supposed. But I didn’t have time to think and I was caught off-guard. I raised an eyebrow and replied, “No.”

 

Whitney shrugged. “I just think he should lay off a little, you know? He likes to, you know, make you suffer in class. Like, the other day, I was taking notes and I missed one question he asked. He about bit my head off for it.”

 

I frowned a touch. Why was she talking to me about such trivial things? I was on a schedule and she was causing me to run late. I wished this little game I was caught in, this dare or whathaveyou, would end so that I could leave in peace. But, Whitney showed no signs of moving.

 

“He is a teacher,” I tried to explain, “he deals with many students that misbehave more than you or I. When I was in his class, I received the same treatment.” That may have been a small lie. In truth, every one of my teachers enjoyed my presence. I made sure of it.

 

I picked out another package of hamburger, trying to give my guest a hint that I needed to leave, and cut off all pleasant vibes radiating from my mind. Instead of inserting emotions, I just let her regular feelings come back.

 

I recognized when her senses came back to her, because she blinked a few times too many and shuffled her position a bit. She turned to look at me again and gave me a soft smile.

 

“Well… it’s been nice talking to you, Jasper,” She said quietly.

 

I could tell that the fear was back in place. I smiled and bowed my head a little in understanding.

 

In that second… everything changed.

 

Whitney turned away from me and pushed off of the counter with her hands. I heard a gasp come from her as she yanked her hand away from the counter. Instinctively, I took a breath to ask her what was wrong. But then… the smell hit me.

 

I had smelled human blood before, but it was always at a distance. Never was I so close… and so… hungry. She raised her hand to her face, staring at the small slice in her finger.

 

“Ouch, dang it. Stupid counter.”

 

Her words seemed to be in slow motion as I stared at her. Immediately my body tensed and I prepared for a crouch that would start out my attack. Venom flooded my mouth, flowing down my throat. My stomach burned with the white-hot intensity that came with the hunger. A red haze clouded my vision and my better judgment.

 

I was a predator now.

 

I could feel every ounce of humanity leaving my body, just trickling away from my conscience. Every feeling, every moral was masked completely by the hunger. Whitney was no longer a human being in my mind. She was a meal. Food.

 

Not even a second had passed as I considered these things. Whitney was still taking the same step away from me, holding her blood-smeared finger in her mouth. It didn’t matter. That wouldn’t help. I could still smell the crimson, iron liquid.

 

I felt my body turn toward her just slightly, not enough that she would notice. I looked around. Our aisle was all but empty now. There were two younger people shopping together at the other end of the aisle, but they were leaving. Soon, Whitney and I would be alone. And I would kill her.

 

The word “kill”… it sent a wave of shock through my body. An inkling of my humanity came back to me for a moment, registering in my mind that killing a human was a bad thing. But my instincts took over again and I didn’t care.

 

Alice and Edward should have known. They shouldn’t have left me alone in this store, no matter how much I hated being babysat by them. They should have realized that I wasn’t yet ready. That my previous lifestyle was still fresh in my mind. That I was still a killer, a monster.

 

And why hadn’t Alice seen this coming? Why hadn’t she gone with me just to make sure everything would be fine? Was she so focused on Bella that she didn’t care what happened to me? No, I couldn’t believe that. Alice loved me. She wouldn't throw me to the wolves.

 

But then, what could explain her reason for not being here? Even now as I pondered different ways of killing this young, innocent girl? She should have seen it by now. She should have known.

 

The less civilized part of my mind sent out a wave of comfort for Whitney. I no longer wanted her to leave. I mixed the comfort with a curiosity and an attraction to get her to come back. She still hadn’t fully taken the step away from me.

 

I knew it was now or never. I needed to make her death quick so that she couldn’t alert anyone to my presence. I scanned the ceilings for the security cameras. There was only one black orb attached to the ceiling near us, but my sharp vision told me that the camera was pointed in the opposite direction. The revolutions were slow for the cameras in this store. I often tried to avoid them when I came here, so I knew that I had exactly twenty-five seconds until the camera would rotate to face me. Twenty-five seconds to kill her and find some sort of escape.

 

The escape didn’t really bother me at that moment. Although I knew there was but one entrance and exit to the store, which were at the front, I was not bothered with this trivial problem that I would solve once the dirty task had been accomplished.

 

I took a step toward her… and froze. Something like a brick wall slammed into my mind and I couldn’t move from the shock of it. It was as if the electric pulses in my brain had shorted out and couldn’t get a message to my legs to move forward. Whitney had barely taken her first step away from me.

 

Surprised by this sudden “walled” feeling, I paused in my attack. What was going on? I focused my vision on Whitney and my instinctual thoughts were irate. She was getting away.

 

“You can do it, Jasper. You won’t hurt her.”

 

The voice startled me. I quickly looked around, but Alice was nowhere in sight or in the range of my hearing, which was a good mile or two. How had she spoken to me? As far as I knew, none of my vampiric family was able to insert thoughts into another’s mind like Edward was able to read them from someone. This was a feat that had not yet been accomplished by any vampire I knew of. How then...?

 

I felt the wall loosen and inched my body forward when another shield came up around the helpless, human girl standing in front of me.

 

“Be strong, Jasper. I know you can do it.”

 

“Where are you?!” I demanded in my mind. I had convinced myself I was being tricked. It was as if someone somewhere was watching me and I couldn’t see them or hear them. I took another step forward.

 

There was not a wall that stopped me this time. There was a picture. An image in front of my mind’s eye, obscuring the view of Whitney just beyond the picture.

 

The picture I saw was Alice. She was perfect in every way, of course. Her pale, granite skin glowed lightly in the artificial lights of the store. Her short, spiky black hair was styled as it always was, sticking out in every direction. Her full, red lips were stretched wide in a smile that showed her brilliant, white teeth. And her golden eyes… were staring at my dark, black ones.

 

She did not stare at me in horror or disgust. There was no look of disappointment on her features. Instead, her smile was reassuring. Comforting. As if she did think I was strong enough… somehow. As if she didn’t see me as a monster or a murderer. As if she knew something that I did not yet.

 

Was this... my mind? Alice was not with me physically. This picture in front of my eyes... the voice in my head... was this all my own doing? Was my human conciousness struggling to rise to the surface again? It had to be. There was no other explanation for such an occurence.

 

“I love you, Jasper,” the image whispered to me. Her voice was so clear, so beautiful in my mind. It was almost like she was actually there with me. My eyes flickered from the image of my beautiful wife to the innocent girl that was still facing away from me. The hunger rose up again, nearly throwing me over the edge.

 

But I concentrated on Alice. Beautiful Alice. The one who’d always believed in me from the beginning. Even when I had not known her, Alice had believed in me. She knew I wasn’t a monster. She knew I didn’t want a lifestyle of torture and murder. And she helped me attain what I desired most: to be loved. Truly loved, too. Not loved for my power or strength or intelligence. Loved for who I was, no matter who that may be.

 

I felt my body relax slightly as her face still stared back at me, never blinking once. I straightened my slightly-hunched position and closed my lips.

 

“Hold your breath.” My mental Alice told me. I immediately cut off all air flow into my lungs. It was difficult at first. I desired to smell the girl’s blood again. But I managed to keep myself from breathing. The venom in my mouth, the ache in my stomach, it all began to recede as my humanity started taking dominance once more.

 

I cut off all emotional vibes I was sending out and watched Whitney take a few more steps away as Alice’s image began to vanish from my vision. The girl turned once to look at me with a soft smile.

 

I smiled back.

 

“Well done, Jasper,” Alice’s voice praised in my head, “I am proud.”

 

I closed my eyes and smiled. Perhaps I didn’t need Alice or Edward’s physical appearance with me after all.Perhaps they were both right. Perhaps they had been right all along, and I had never given myself a chance. Perhaps I was stronger than I thought.

 

Murphy’s Law was my constant companion. But now I know how to deal with my little friend.

 

I would not be a killer. I would not be a monster. Not today, not ever.

Author's Note

I wrote this originally for a writing class and the teacher had no idea what Twilight was, so that's why I explained so much in this. I hope I did Jasper justice. He's never been one of my favorite characters, but he's always been interesting to me.

Reviews

[C. Porter]

nice. i usually don't like fan fiction, but this is good, especially because jasper is one of the more minor characters so i can more easily see it happening.